Page 272 - Seekers Guide Book

The Wisdom of Life
When an issue arises between a couple, one of the two
must play the role of a pacifist. But this does not happen
and the problem only escalates. Both man and woman
begin to think the issue is beyond management for them,
whereas in reality the problem is that they both do not
know how to manage it. Consequently, they arrive at the
conclusion that separation is the only solution.

On the contrary, if either of them or a mediator takes
time to pacify the matter, the situation could be dealt
with differently. Emotions are temporary and once
they settle normalcy prevails. All one needs to do is
to carefully navigate through the time during which
emotions subside. It is the lack of maturity on the part of
those involved that leads to a stalemate and consequently
the relationship breaks down.

As Dale Carnegie once said:

When dealing with people, let us remember
we are not dealing with creatures of logic.
We are dealing with creatures of emotions.
(Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and
Influence People (1937))

It must be noted that friction between couples usually
starts on trivial matters. Issues that are significant and
involve their mutual interest (such as children, property,
etc.) serve as an impediment to drift apart. Once a judge
said, ‘A little youngster born to a couple is an assurance
that their marriage would not be dissolved in a divorce
court.’

As emotions are to women, stubbornness is to men. This

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