Page 19 - June 2023 CW Magazine Proof 3
P. 19
The Success Trap
By
Kathleen Carlson
Without actually realizing it, I willingly The company was in the throes of yet
jumped on the hamster wheel of life and another merger. I was used to living in a
without ever questioning it, I just kept constant pressure cooker but this was over
running until I couldn’t. the top even for us. Lots of negotiating was
happening behind the scenes. Buildings
I was feeling as though my body had closing and positions eliminated to
abandoned me as I lay on my living room prepare for the buyout. Seven territories
floor looking up at all the things reduced to six and the remaining areas
surrounding me. Every part of my body were shuffled. I ended up in a territory that
hurt, my eyes were blurred, my mind had me on the road four out of five nights.
confused, my energy gone and I was sick
and tired of being sick and tired. Over recent weeks, driving had become
more challenging. My arms and shoulders
Ashamed and angry, I asked aloud, “Did I hurt so that just holding the steering
really work myself into physical collapse wheel or cell phone was a beyond painful. I
for all this stuff…the house, the cars, the was continually cleaning my windshield
clothes, the trips?” and wiping my eyes. It was as if I was
looking through vaseline. One would think
A few days prior, I was heading into our that would be enough to take me home
monthly senior staff meeting, something I and to a Dr. but no, I was a good soldier
had done a few hundred times. Yet and good soldiers did not call in sick.
nothing about it felt the same. I knew this
would be my last meeting.
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