Page 31 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

aunt thinking the onyx kitchen-roll holder his mother had given her for

Christmas was a model of a penis. Was really v. amusing about it. Also asked
me if I got anything nice for Christmas in rather flirty way. Think might wear
short black skirt tomorrow.

Wednesday 4 January

9st 5 (state of emergency now as if fat has been stored in capsule form over
Christmas and is being slowly released under skin), alcohol units 5 (better),
cigarettes 20, calories 700 (v.g.)

4 p.m. Office. State of emergency. Jude just rang up from her portable phone in
flood of tears, and eventually managed to explain, in a sheep's voice, that she
had just had to excuse herself from a board meeting (Jude is Head of Futures at
Brightlings) as she was about to burst into tears and was now trapped in the

ladies' with Alice Cooper eyes and no make-up bag. Her boyfriend, Vile Richard
(self-indulgent commitment phobic), whom she has been seeing on and off for
eighteen months, had chucked her for asking him if he wanted to come on
holiday with her. Typical, but Jude naturally was blaming it all on herself.

'I'm co-dependent. I asked for too much to satisfy my own neediness rather
than need. Oh, if only I could turn back the clock.'

I immediately called Sharon and an emergency summit has been scheduled for
6.30 in Café Rouge. I hope I can get away without bloody Perpetua kicking up.