Page 83 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

walked past my desk, stopped for a moment and murmured, 'Jones, you

gorgeous creature. Why are you ignoring me?'

In a rush of joy and affection I was just about to blurt out the whole story of
Tom, Jude and Shazzer's conflicting theories, but the heavens were smiling on
me and the phone rang. I rolled my eyes apologetically, picked it up, then

Perpetua bustled up, knocking a pile of proofs off the desk with her bottom, and
bellowed, 'Ah, Daniel. Now . . . ' and swept him away, which was fortunate
because the phone call was Tom, who said I had to keep up the ice-queen act and
gave me a mantra to repeat when I felt myself weakening. 'Aloof, unavailable
ice-queen; Aloof, unavailable ice-queen.'

7 March

9st 4, 2 or 5?? alcohol units 0, cigarettes 20, calories 1500, Instants 6 (poor).

9 a.m. Aargh. How can I have put on 3lb since the middle of the night? I was 9st

4 when I went to bed, 9st 2 at 4 a.m. and 9st 5 when I got up. I can understand
weight coming off - it could have evaporated or passed out of the body into the
toilet - but how could it be put on? Could food react chemically with other food,
double its density and volume, and solidify into every heavier and denser hard
fat? I don't look fatter. I can fasten the button, though not, alas, the zipper on my
'89 jeans. So maybe my whole body is getting smaller but denser. The whole
thing smacks of female body-builders and makes me feel strangely sick. Call up

Jude to complain about diet failure, who says write down everything you've
eaten, honestly, and see if you stuck to the diet. Here is list.