Page 157 - Malcolm Gladwell - Talking to Strangers

The conviction that we know others better than they know us—and that we may have insights about
them they lack (but not vice versa)—leads us to talk when we would do well to listen and to be less
patient than we ought to be when others express the conviction that they are the ones who are being
misunderstood or judged unfairly. The same convictions can make us reluctant to take advice from
others who cannot know our private thoughts, feelings, interpretations of events, or motives, but all
too willing to give advice to others based on our views of their past behavior, without adequate
attention to their thoughts, feelings, interpretations, and motives. Indeed, the biases documented
here may create a barrier to the type of exchanges of information, and especially to the type of
careful and respectful listening, that can go a long way to attenuating the feelings of frustration and
resentment that accompany interpersonal and intergroup conflict.
Those are wise words.