Page 5 - Unlikely Stories 1

Nothing Left to the Imagination

about in buildings and underground utility wells and passages. Dick
had seen many of them in his conurbation.
“Pardon me,” said Dick. “I should have acknowledged your
presence. Are you also coming in for fine-tuning by the doctor?”
“Definitely! He’s the best in the West Settlement. And it’s not the
first time for me, either. It’s no coincidence you find robots in this
office, at least those of us with advanced brain-like structures. You
may be a relative oddity, Dick—may I call you that? Thank you—a
maladjusted human in this era.”
“Really? I didn’t think I was anyone special.”
“Ha-ha!” The urbot chuckled. “I meant your condition, Dick. I’m
not unusual: you must understand that, now that you see our
collective biomechanical problem: having a lot of wiggle-room in our
thought processes intended to enable critical-analytical judgments
must also lead to idiosyncratic leisure-time pursuits. Yes, I know you
probably subscribed to the mistaken notion that we independent
robots do nothing but work, work, work. But here is the problem for
a real automaton: our necessarily excessive neural capacity can lead us
into extra-curricular activities erosive of our primary directive. I
mean, I’m not looking for sympathy, believe me! It’s a lot of fun
solving problems for you city-folk. The urban built environment is
endlessly fascinating.”
“I suppose so,” said Dick. “It’s all pretty much background to me,
like the water fish used to swim in.”
“Until something goes wrong!” The robot shook with laughter.
Designed for human contact, it liked to make jokes and kid around
with its clients. “Well, I have patience enough for every encounter,
every kind of breakdown or crisis. I could tell you some stories! But I
won’t, of course: that would violate confidentiality. But I do know an
urbot or two publishing humorous tales of the embarrassment and
exasperation people experience when their conveniences and
necessities malfunction—all under pseudonyms, of course!”
“I didn’t know that, either. So unless I can see an author being
interviewed, I wouldn’t be able to tell if it might be a robot?”

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