Page 41 - Extraterrestrials, Foreign and Domestic

Anthropic Fallacies

The newcomers shook hands round robin with their hosts, then
all sat down. Zorbach began to open a manila envelope he had
been clutching to his chest, but was interrupted by Buck.
“You’ll find copies of your photographs on the table,” he said,
pointing to neat stacks of paper in front of each participant.
“They’re as good as we could make them—unless, of course, you
brought the negatives.”
Zorbach began to speak, but was interrupted by Upchurch.
“Certainly not! Do you take us for fools? We have entered the
belly of the beast, and would not have done so willingly without
some assurance of our safe return. The negatives are in a secure
location, with instructions to make them public should we
mysteriously disappear.”
Buck looked pained. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Reverend.
But this is a matter of national security. The government does take
seriously all reported sightings of unidentified flying objects. In the
course of this investigation we have received many still and
moving photographic images which, shall we say, do not bear very
close scrutiny. If the negatives are available, our analysts can do a
much better job of judging their veracity.”
Upchurch’s wattles wobbled with indignation.
“Your so-called analysts, a bunch of bumbling bureaucrats
swilling slops at the public trough, have undoubtedly informed
you that Ray is no Hollywood special-effects wizard. He is a
simple God-fearing man who delivers pizza, pays his taxes, and
prays on Sunday for the deliverance and enlightenment of our
nation’s leaders. It was God’s will that placed him up in the hills
that Saturday afternoon two months ago with a flat tire and a
camera. Those pictures, on a roll of film he took directly to a Jiffy
Print shop in the first town he came to after fixing his flat,
uncontrovertibly establish the presence of alien beings in the
United States. Nothing faked in those snapshots, no sir! You can
see the trees knocked down, the burned grass, the sunlight casting
shadows through the trees in front of the saucer and the saucer’s
shadow on the ground behind it. And then the blur as it leaves,
and the same scene without the saucer. Ray got the sheriff and
went back there with a fresh roll of film and took a lot more
pictures up close.”

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