Page 27 - Unlikely Stories 1

DeathCon

“That’s absolutely correct. This is the first truly international
and democratic arms bazaar in the world! Our motto is, ‘Money talks
with one voice.’ It would have been, ‘The best defense is a good
offense,’ but that one has already been taken by the government.
We’re following the best principles of capitalism here: a level
battleground, and demand can always be supplied—if not stimulated!
Here, just come with me past this metal detector. We’ve already
cleared your cameraman and sound crew.” (Loud beep.) “Oops!
What’s that in your pocket, Buell? Are you packing?”
“Ha-ha! I plumb forgot about my grandfather’s derringer. I
thought I might find a buyer for it here after the interview.”
“Sorry, Buell! You’d have to pay the dealer’s fee if you want
to do that. And this isn’t ‘Antiques Roadshow.’ Anyway, by the looks
of it, that thing is liable to blow up in your hand if you ever try to fire
it. If you want something small and lethal for personal use, we can
cruise the concealed weapons tables in aisle five later. Just check in
your piece here with Annie O., and we’ll take a look at some newer
gear.”
“Right. I can hear some sort of performance going on out by
the parking lot, but we can drop in on that later. Let’s go down here,
Thyssen: looks interesting.”
“Yes, indeed, Buell. The people in these booths are the stars
of the future, the inventors and innovators with visions waiting to be
tested by the marketplace. And they’re facing some very
discriminating shoppers.”
“Well, I don’t want to break up a potential sale. Let’s go see
what’s on offer at this booth: nobody in front of us. Hello there! I’m
Buell Bauser, and you’re on ‘Wonders Never Cease.’ And you are?”
“Basil Undershaft, vice president of sales for Nemesys
Solutions. Nice to meet you, Buell—and your viewers.”
“Wow! Look at this, folks—but what is it?”
“That’s our new model, Dystrustor Mark 3. We’ve doubled
the range and cut the power requirements in half using state-of-the-
art crystalline vibronics and refinements in neural oscillation capture.

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