Page 52 - Like No Business I Know

Get in the POOL!

might have bitten off more than it can chew and it will lose its edge
in the future. Not my call, Ralphie: the board of directors makes
these high-level decisions.
RALPH: Yeah, for whose benefit? Don’t they decide on their own
salaries? To whom are they responsible?
FRED: Why, the shareholders, of course! The people who own the
company.
RALPH: Are you sure they’re people?

FRANCINE: Boys, please! You could go on all day with these
pointless arguments. The fact is that Freddy might be in a position to
help you get a job, Ralph.

FRED: Oh. Out of work again, Ralph?
RALPH: Don’t rub it in.

FRED: I’m not! Listen, Sis is right. Why don’t you come down to the
herd with me and I’ll try to get you in.

RALPH: The what?
FRED: Oh, excuse me: that’s what we insiders call my office: HRD,
the Human Resources Department.
FRANCINE: Freddy! I thought you were a manager in Personnel.

FRED: I am. They just changed the name. I argued against it because
I thought it sounded discriminatory. Apparently no one else was as
sensitive about that issue, and now I can see that it really does
describe our function more precisely.
RALPH: Wait a minute: discriminatory against whom?
FRED: Why, the Servotechs, of course! But rather than get into a
philosophical discussion about the definition of a “person,” I went
with the consensus. You’ve got to be a good organization man,
Ralphie, to get ahead in business. At any rate, the Servotechs have
their own managerial structure.

FRANCINE: But what kind of job can you get for Ralph at Cheerful
Robots?

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