Page 37 - Fables volume 2

With that, Sven ceremoniously unplugged a small medical beaker
and dumped its contents into the tank. Olaf and Gustav continued
their frolicking for a few more seconds, then suddenly became
agitated, breaching the surface and belly-flopping noisily. As if on a
prearranged signal they began circling each other, feinting and
jabbing. Occasionally their tusks clacked together, drawing gasps
from the audience. After a minute or two of this sparring, a blotch of
red appeared in the water. Olaf began jerking erratically; Gustav
circled him menacingly.
“Please, folks,” Sven would plead, “don’t be alarmed. We don’t
want you to witness the horrific end of this contest. Perhaps the loser
can be saved.” Handlers with poles came out and broke up the fight,
forcing the narwhals back into their own compartments. Applause
broke out, followed by clear hints from the management that the
show was over.
This gag continued for several months, always with a fresh
assortment of fun-seekers ready to shell out hard-earned kroner for
the ersatz gladiatorial spectacle. Then an irate parent complained that
her child had been traumatized by the act. The owners of Arctic
World, sensitive to any incident that might stimulate investigation of
their animal welfare and safety procedures, cancelled the show. Sven
and the narwhal brothers had to find another scam.
Against a strong tide of resistance, reformers had managed to
outlaw traditional gambling on blood sports—unless the combatants
were human. Organizers of dog fights and bear-baiting were driven
underground; and there the paying customers went, eager to watch
blood spilled when they could wager on the outcome. These contests
were staged outside the large towns of Fiskland, usually near remote
fjords. Sven, coming out of this environment, had a very good idea of
how to get the country people betting on one narwhal or the other.
He would find a suitable setup and let it be known that a unique
opportunity for sporting gentlemen would be presented at a location
to be named on the day.
Thus a good crowd would be on hand for the bout. After enough
money had come forth from the assembled farmers and fishermen,
Sven released his battling brothers into an improvised tank. Now
they had razor-sharp steel tips on their tusks, and no time was spent
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