Page 10 - The Gluckman Occasonal Number Nine

they didn’t mind. Once there, they realized the climate was really
hotter than they expected, and that they would soon be carbonized if
they stayed. They looked at the fine print on their tickets, but a return
trip was not included.
Moral: One’s limitations need not be exceeded to be appreciated.

Parafable of the Plants

Flora, after covering the land, found the winds of chance too
uncertain a means of dissemination. They prayed to their god, the
Prime Root, for a solution to their problem. It told them: “You are
sessile; I will create mobile creatures to eat your seed pods and
excrete them wherever they travel.” And fauna came to be, and
happily ate the fruit and nuts they were offered by flora. But fauna
grew larger as they, too, covered the land. The larger ones needed
more food than flora could provide as seed pods, so fauna began
eating flora. They chewed on leaves, uprooted trees, stripped bark
and swallowed huge quantities of living branches and sprouts. Flora
again prayed for deliverance. Prime Root said: “They shall eat each
other as much as they eat you: that is all the relief I can provide.”
And it was good for a very long time.
Moral: Problems and solutions are dialectically dematerializing.

Parafable of the Bullies

Once upon a time, in a tough neighborhood, the big kids were all in
gangs and had slingshots. They threatened the small kids and coerced
tribute. The little ones had their own gangs, but they weren’t strong
enough to fight back. In compensation, they threatened and fought
each other while not starting fights with the big kids. The little ones
saw that the big ones wouldn’t use the slingshots against each other,
and that the only way not to be threatened by any gangs, big or small,
was to have their own slingshots. That started the little kids on a
search for materials with which to build the weapons. In turn, that
worried all the kids, so they had a meeting, big and small. Many kids
wanted to throw away all the slingshots to remove the fear of getting
injured. The little kids were willing, mostly; and the big kids were
willing, mostly; but their leaders didn’t want to lose their authority. So
each of them said that the others must give up all their slingshots
first, or else they wouldn’t feel safe. To emphasize that position, the