Page 31 - Tales Apocalyptic and Dystopian

Comet Klenzer

Blood gripped the arms of his chair, as though it were about to
accelerate suddenly. “Are you serious? Do you really believe that?”
Klenzer began laughing or crying, then swallowed whatever was
struggling up out of his throat.
“Do you really believe in the prophecies of Revelations? Is all the
fire and brimstone of apocalyptic millenarianism that I have heard
you present so eloquently on the airwaves a sham and a pretense? All
the little old ladies and uneducated rednecks who send you their
hard-earned money—are they being hoaxed?”
“What! How dare you insinuate that? If there’s anyone involved
with a hoax in this room, it isn’t me. Scripture is the source of my
belief, not some smudge on a photographic plate!”
Brother Daniel shrugged.
“It’s a moot point. Either or both of us could be in it just for
personal gain, subscribing to no particular world-view but cynical
selfishness. Your signs and portents announce the scourge of God;
mine the inevitability of Newtonian physics. If we work together, we
can arouse the fears rampant in this ignorant and superstitious age to
a new high, raking in contributions neither of us could get if we
competed for the same market. With lower overhead, the effect
would be synergistic. But we haven’t much time—literally. We don’t
have to like each other, don’t even have acknowledge publicly that we
are in business together. Let me assure you, Reverend Blood: this is
far better than getting into a name-calling, mud-slinging feud the
press will love and our supporters hate. What do you say?”
“I say I’d rather die than be associated with you.” Drew Blood
stood up in a huff and took three paces toward the door. “But, ah,
just to satisfy my curiosity, exactly what are you planning to do?—to
prepare for the worst, as you put it.”
“I’m afraid only the chosen few in my inner circle know the answer
to that, Reverend Blood. You may imagine what level of donation
that implies. Let me simply say that seating on the ark is always
limited. Of course, if you are quite certain that God will be
resurrecting you immediately after the comet disrupts the terrestrial
biosphere and wipes out most of the existing plant and animal
species, then you will not need a ticket for what promises to be a very
bumpy ride. Good day to you, Reverend, and please make an
appointment before you call again.”

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