Page 34 - Unlikely Stories 5

Mix and Match with Max and Mitch

“You’d like to know how bad it is, wouldn’t you?” Barbara Seville
smiled with her mouth. “The studies comparing Mix and Match to
other courtship consultants reveal something rather anomalous—a
statistic not noted by observers looking merely for marriage
frequencies. I have a background in the hard sciences, too. A very
high percentage of couples united through your service are childless,
way beyond what could be attributed to chance. Putting that together
with your early careers, I have concluded that you are continuing the
war against overpopulation by other means. But you cannot
physically affect the reproductive capacity of Mix and Match
members: how do you do it?”
Mitch and Max looked at each other.
“Blackmail is one thing,” said Max carefully. “Giving away our
business is another.”
“That’s right.” Mitch nodded grimly. “You’re going too far, Miss
Seville. No proprietary information will you get from us. We have
worked too hard to develop our process.”
“Then at least give me a general idea. I have no desire to steal your
business nor destroy it. And you have yet to hear my price.”
Max looked pained. “I can tell you it is an expert system utilizing
chaos theory, heuristic algorithms and linear programming. Every
method of distinguishing human types known to science and
religion—yes, we use several versions of astrology—as well as
extensive demographic data goes into our supercomputer. Family
history. Exposure to chemicals and radiation. Age. Diet. Anything
and everything ever showing a positive correlation to fertility. Of
course, on top of that we have compatibility typing.”
Mitch looked proud. “The best in the world. The Indian genius for
mathematics is unparalleled. Scores of programmers and scientists in
Bangalore have worked on Mix and Match, most of them without
knowledge of the larger purpose.”
Barbara’s eyes narrowed. “So you mix the optimal chances in a
match for both marriage and the likelihood that there will be no
issue. Theoretically by mating every fertile person with an infertile
but highly mutually desirable person you would stop population
growth in its tracks. Congratulations, gentlemen: you have managed
to make money without sacrificing principle. I can guess that you

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