Page 30 - The Gluckman Occasional Number Three

“Certainly, certainly,” said the guide soothingly. “Could we watch
you work for a minute or two?”
“Well, I guess so.”
Lebec picked up a sheet of grease-stained paper inscribed with
columns of penciled numbers. Then he consulted another sheet, on
which the outlines of a boot had been sketched. “If I were a wealthy
man, I could hire a room full of engineers to do all this mathematical
work for me. But I must do it myself. Here we have the
measurements for the boot. The right turned out to be the same as
the left—but I had to prove that, of course. Now I can convert the
irregular surface area into the optimum shapes of foil, using the
calculus of Leibniz and the cylinder width of Safeway. Here you see
the first sheet. I was just about to begin the heel when you came by.”
As the art-lovers gaped in awe and wonder, Lebec slowly teased
and crumpled a precisely curved and notched but smooth and two-
dimensional sheet up and around the back end of the boot. Waste
was minimal, uncovered area nonexistent.
Holly Bauza seized the moment. “Well done, Alfonse! I wonder if
any of your guests could benefit from a demonstration of your skill
on any of their geometrically uncomplicated treasured belongings.”
A woman stepped forward. “Oh, Mr. Lebec. I would just love it if
you could wrap this Bloomingdale’s charge card for me. I know it has
expired, and I have a new one, but it would mean so much for me to
preserve it. And could you sign the foil, too?”
Lebec grabbed the plastic rectangle from her hand, quickly
measured it, sliced a rectilinear shape from his open roll of foil, and
folded and crimped the metal around the card. Then he etched ‘AL’
on it with a fingernail. The woman took it back, cupping it in her
hands and turning it in all directions.
“Why—it’s perfect,” she whispered. “Almost as if a machine had
done it, but with the delicacy of a blind-stitch embroiderer. What can
I offer you in return, Mr. Lebec?”
The artist squinted, taking in his client’s clothing, shoes and
accessories. “Fifty bucks.”
She quickly counted out the cash and gave it to him.
Holly glanced at her watch. “Anyone else?”
A man cleared his throat and reached in a trouser pocket.