Page 41 - Tales the Maggid Never Told Me

Blood Libel

finally tipping over into a Christian hell on earth pushed me past grief
and terror into a state of cold clear-eyed rationality. You are not
reasonable.

S: Have you felt that way about anybody else in your life?

B: Lately just about everyone. You go through life not taking crazy
people seriously. Then they come to take you. Seriously. I knew they
would. My band was long gone, I was on the run, but I knew a big
rock concert was going to be held in Madison Square Garden on
Easter Sunday. A bunch of goody-two-shoe evangelical musicians,
groups I wouldn’t ordinarily listen to for five seconds. But I figured
out exactly how it would go down. The opening act was the Spirit
Lifters, a quintet with simple arrangements based on bubblegum rock
and watered-down rhythm and blues. I planned carefully, found out
all I could about them. They always began with “True Gospel,” their
only big hit on Christian radio. Those guys could play it in their sleep.
And they all, not just the drummer, wore earplugs or were half-deaf
from years of high-decibel performance. I was about the same size as
Peter Pauley, the lead singer, and I put together an outfit and got a
haircut just like his. Then I hid backstage overnight after getting in as
one of the cleaning crew the day before the concert.

S: Were you afraid?

B: There’s that question again. Afraid. Compared to what? Being
chased by a howling lynch mob? No doubt you are aware of the
popular psychological notion that facing one’s fears, taking positive
action against the source of terror, is very calming to the nerves.
Peter Pauley might have to undergo some therapy before he will feel
safe taking a towel from a bathroom attendant again. He must have
spent an unpleasant hour or two sitting in a locked stall, quite
securely bound and gagged. Maybe he thought his attacker was an
irate music critic.

S: Did you experience any feelings of guilt or remorse?

B: Oh, don’t be silly, Doctor. Those aren’t feelings. They are ex post
facto judgments stimulated by any number of things. True, the fellow

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