Page 21 - The Perpetrations of Captain Kaga

Persuading the Zookeeper of Apadat

“Gentlemen,” he rasped, accenting the last syllable, “the Jai Singh
has just entered a galaxy whose characteristics are extremely favorable
to the discovery of an inhabited planet. In the event this should
prove to be the case, I shall be taking a small party down to the
surface to establish contact. You will form part of that contingent.
Prepare yourselves in accordance with regulations regarding
equipment and procedures. In particular, run complete systems
testing on your Languexes; they will have to be in perfect condition
in order to interpret a hitherto unknown language.”
A murmur of excitement ran through the assembly of neophyte
officers. At last! In a few hours they might be meeting an alien
species of intelligent life face-to-face and conversing with it. Borjug
raised one bony hand to silence the group.
“When we land, you must remember several things. First, I am in
complete command. Any orders I give must be carried out
immediately and without question. There is always the possibility of a
hostile reception: although the PKU possesses the most powerful
weaponry in the Known Universe, it is unwise to expose ourselves
unnecessarily to danger. A rock thrown by a tiny brachyodont can kill
a man as easily as a quark disruptor beam.”
Kaga heard a slight leathery creaking as Ploon, who sat behind
him, stiffened at the admiral’s implicit anthropocentricity.
“Second,” continued Borjug, “and more important than your
individual safety: the impression we must make upon any intelligent
beings. Whatever their limited conception of self-interest was before
our arrival, we must seek to begin the process of conversion to our
more enlightened policies. The pride we have in our status as the
pinnacle of evolutionary development must be communicated to
these creatures, regardless of their own lack of the more evident
biological indicators of rationality.”
“As an example, I can recount to you a contact made by this vessel
several years ago. The planet in question was inhabited by a race of
rather repulsive beetles. We did not at first consider these insects to
be worthy of our attention, but the Languex revealed a high-level
discussion going on among the hordes that surrounded our landing
party. They, it seemed, did not take us for intelligent beings, and were
debating means of disposing of the garbage that had fallen in their
midst.”
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