Page 27 - Just Deserts

The Decimator

Kenostaphos switched one of the tape players on and channeled it
into the monitor. The first of Keller’s excerpts unfolded before
Connie Gegenschein’s widening eyes. “Why, that’s incredible!” she
gasped. “He doesn’t give a damn about women or any issue related to
us. This makes him look like the great savior of the fair sex. And
there are plenty of half-informed housewives who will fall for that
baloney!”
“Yes, yes, I know.” The film collector switched VCR’s. “Now
look at another take of that touching scene.”
The same camera angle showed Sunderbar delivering his message
of reassurance to the young housewife, concluding with, “Those
crooks won’t be out of prison until the twenty-second century.” But
instead of cooing her gratitude, the actress stumbled on her lines:
“Oh, Rod, I-uh-um don’t know—” The Decimator immediately
turned on her with a snarl. “You dumb bitch!” he screamed. “Can’t
you get anything right?” “Cut!” yelled another voice, and the screen
went blank.
Gegenschein goggled again, then burst into hysterical laughter.
“That’s perfect!” she shrieked. “There’s the real Crag Sunderbar! If
we put that on TV, his pretty profile won’t get him ten votes among
the female population! That sexist pig!”
The gentleman of Mediterranean appearance gravely waited for
her amazement and hilarity to subside. “Let us continue. It does not
get any more flattering to our opponent.” He switched on the
bootleg Iconoplast tape again and the scene from ‘Decimator IV:
Siege of Terror’ played itself out. This time Connie sat silently
through the display of nonchalant bravery, waiting for the outtake;
when Kenostaphos started his own tape running, she gripped the
edge of her desk in anticipation of a treat.
And was not disappointed. The rejected take began cleanly
enough: Rod Deal found the hidden nuclear bomb and deftly popped
opened its control panel; the timer began ticking loudly and
inexorably. Smiling, he reached for a wire. Bang! Sparks flew and a
puff of smoke billowed out of the prop device. Sunderbar started
violently, an expression of sheer terror contorting his classically
handsome features. “Jesus Christ!” he howled. “I’ll kill the bastard

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