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To Forgive and to Forget

By Derek Pyle

Derek Pyle is a writer and activist from Oregon in the United States. He is
dedicated to environmental and housing justice, and socially engaged Buddhism.
Derek cofounded the Buddhist Humanitarian Project as a response to the
Rohingya refugee crisis, www.buddhisthumanitarianproject.org. Derek is
currently working on a book about growing up as a millennial Buddhist. He can
be reached at derekdpyle@pm.me. Derek responded to Benny Liow of Eastern
Horizon on several questions regarding the need to forgive and to forget.

EH: Could you tell us how you got into Buddhism and studied Buddhism in college, and I lived with a Tibetan
did you follow any particular teachers or tradition monk for a year.
in your practice?

In the United States, many people equate Buddhism
Derek: I grew up in California, near the San Francisco with meditation practice. This is especially true for
Bay Area, where there is a lot of access to Buddhist white Americans, like myself, because we often come
teachings. My parents were followers of Thich Nhat to Buddhism through rather commercialized versions
Hanh in the early 1990s, and they were also connected of the practice. We forget about sutta study or the
to local Theravada communities. One of my earliest cultivation of ethics and paramis. I think it’s very
memories is going to Spirit Rock to see Thich Nhat Hanh important for Americans to understand the context of
speak there. Spirit Rock is a big retreat center now, but Buddhism, and that includes respecting the countries
back then it was just a plot of land with a few trailers. I that have generously shared the teachings with us.
miss the trailer days!
As my practice has evolved over the years, I feel much
I sat my first meditation retreat when I was fourteen. more drawn to practicing in monastic communities. I’m a
It was a retreat specifically for teenagers, organized by lay practitioner, yes, but there is this ancient and reciprocal
the Buddhist Peace Fellowship. We spent half the day relationship between monastics and lay people, and I love
in silence, and there were activities and small groups that. The Dharma isn’t about spending a few minutes on
during the rest of the day. We talked a lot about our the cushion each day, it’s a way of life. I feel most drawn to
lives, bonding with the other teens. It was a really the Buddhist nuns at Aloka Vihara, a small monastery in
special community, and I returned many times. Northern California. They are deep practitioners, and I feel
very inspired by the community there.
In the United States, many Theravada retreats are led
by lay teachers, who often teach together in teams. At How has Buddhism changed your perspectives of life
the teen retreats, I formed a strong connection with one over the years?
particular teacher, Heather Sundberg. Heather was a
senior student of Venerable Ajahn Jumnian, an eccentric That’s a hard question because the Dharma has been so
but revered forest monk from Thailand. integral to my life. I can’t really separate the two. That
was one of Ajahn Jumnian’s central teachings, which
I practiced closely with Heather for many years, but I Heather passed on to me — the Dharma is everywhere.
also continued to meet other teachers and traditions. I Growing up, I had friends who suffered a lot. By the time

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