Page 57 - Sonoma County Gazette March 2018.indd

Preparing for the 3rd Act
By Patricia Cavanaugh, MA, MFT and Ellie Klevins, MS
So, you’ve cut the cake, cashed your last paycheck, taken a trip (by the way,
this is no longer called a vacation), tackled the closets and maybe even the garage. So now what? What does it really take to have a “happy retirement”? Our experience working with hundreds of clients as they transition to their “3rd act” tells us that much like having a solid nancial plan, you need a “life plan” to guide the next 20++ years of your life. The clock is ticking, so let’s create a plan for a life well-lived.
We’re living longer, healthier and with more time ahead than any previous generation. Today’s Baby Boomers are pioneers in reinventing what it now means to be retired. After exiting from demanding and often stressful 40+ work weeks, raising a family, and trying to make time to get the gym, your schedule is now wide open! This can be liberating and frightening at the same time. One of our clients said it feels like “free fall”. We say it’s the perfect time to create an inspiring plan for your future.
REVIEW: Only the Brave
We have spent our lives up to this point with some pretty clear markers for happiness and success. Get good grades! Find the right life partner! Grow
your career! Start a family! Buy a house, pay the bills, and on and on. As you approach your 3rd act, you may nd you actually have a choice about what you want to do with your one wild and precious life. We o er you this framework for creating a happy retirement:
By Diane McCurdy
Fire. The re that in ames the imagination, the
Let Go of the Past
Ask yourself, “What do I want to leave behind?” One of our clients is an attorney and was asked by a non-pro t organization she was passionate about to be a Board Member. She ended up spending a lot of time traveling to and attending long (and boring) meetings just like she did when she was working. The irony was, now she wasn’t even being paid for her time! It was so easy for her to slip back into familiar patterns.
Finding a sense of accomplishment outside the workplace can be challenging. Many nd using their strengths and skills in service to others brings their life new meaning and purpose. A former corporate executive now nds great satisfaction in teaching leadership skills to young people.
Including simple pleasures in your day, being grateful and staying “in the moment” can reduce stress and increase your happiness. Now is the time to have that second cup of co ee, read the entire newspaper, take a leisurely walk with the dog, and read a book to a child. A slower pace and less demands on your time give you freedom, you just have to remember to enjoy it.
By far the most important key to a successful 3rd act is to grow and maintain positive relationships. Multiple studies on aging reach a similar conclusion: On- going positive relationships are the best indicator for successful aging.
The 3rd Act provides lifestyle guidance and support for people who want to make
the most of the time ahead. Since 2008, we have helped hundreds of people inside organizations, at our public workshops and retreats, and through individual and couples coaching to create inspiring life plans, manage change and transition, and live a happy and ful lling 3rd act.
Here is a lm that is reality based just out
on DVD about re. It demonstrates how that element can be as disastrous as it it can be bene cial. Only the Brave deals with the rst responder types who have so much in our purview of late. The title is unfortunate. It is sort of generic and sounds too much like a war lm, although the lm does depict a war of sorts, a war on re.
Play to your Strengths
Josh Brolin is the leader of a motley crew of
re ghters who want to have the power and the
pride of being “certi ed”. As of now they are
part of the second wave, the clean-up gang even though they may have a better handle on the landscape and weather implications than the top guns do. Crusty division chief, Jeff Bridges, in a role that might as well have been written for him lobbies for the group to get an o cial evaluation. They seriously train
Savor the Present Moment
Deepen and Create New Relationships
and even take on a new recruit, Miles Teller, a irresponsible druggie recently tossed out by his pregnant girlfriend who Brolin wants to give a second chance. Eventually the band does get certi ed and they dub themselves The Granite Mountain Hot Shots. Quickly they prove their mettle. This dangerous job requires a great deal of time away from home and places much stress on relationships. Jennifer Connelly, the long-su ering wife of Brolin, longs to be a mother but Brolin feels the strain and pressure of his job would not allow him to be a proper father. The inter dynamics of the microcosm that is the Hot Shot company is interesting as the characters bond and grow in complexity. Also engaging is the exposition of exactly what a “hot shot” does. The story is told with some bravado but is tempered with sincerity.
Most people focus on the nancial side of retirement planning and no doubt that is important. But taking the time to create a life plan for your future will further insure you are making the most of the time ahead and help create a happy and ful lling 3rd Act. .
At times one can almost feel the heat of the ames although any over the
top, computer generated e ects are kept to a minimum. The story might be
too nerve-wracking for those still su ering from the after e ects of our own disastrous blazes. I talked to one of our local heroes who had told a harrowing story of having survived with the re in front of him and the re in back of him. I asked if he planned to see Only the Brave. He replied with the implication that it was still too raw, too soon, too painful. He said, “Not yet.”
re next time, the ames of passion, of love. We in Northern California have become extremely sensitive to that particular phenomenon. Fire.
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