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DurgaPuja 2020

“So are you renting or owning?”
We are back at our seats, and my friend is pigging away, the daal dribbling down the side of his lips.
“Excuse me?”
“Do you rent a house or have you bought?” He repeats, thinking I did not genuinely get it the first
time.
It’s a strange question, but still.
He pulls his chair close, ignores the fact that his children are now fighting again, and launches into a
monologue on why this is the right time to buy, interest-rates are at historic lows, the real-estate
market has bottomed out, and then he asks me, how much I make, and then adds to soften the
blow, “in the ballpark”.
Almost magically, his wife appears at his side.
It’s then that I notice.
My friend and she are in color-coordinated clothes.
His wife bends down, gives him a chaste hug, and I see the words coming out of his lips “This is
Sreemoyee, my wife, she is an assistant to a real-estate agent, you know she can’t work on H4 but,
she can do this, on commission basis, and trust me, she has already sold….”
I shut out the words. Because I know exactly how this is going to end.
At that moment, I feel a tap on my shoulder. It’s my wife.
“Do you want to go?” She asks.
Thinking this might be a loaded question, I reply “No we can stay. There is a cultural program later.”
Sreemoyee helpfully volunteers the fact that she will be singing Rabindranasangeet and also dancing
to a medley of Hindi songs and my friend adds helpfully, that the real-estate company is one of the
platinum sponsors, and it’s all coming together now, when my wife repeats, this time with a slight
firm grip on my shoulder, whose meaning any husband knows, “Let’s go.”
“Did you have lunch?” I ask, just to confirm I got the message right.

“I am not hungry. Can we go please?”
We are in the car, and I know something has happened. So before starting the engine, I wait. This is
“old married couple” silent signal for “Talk”
“It’s your friend’s wife. What a…”
“Did she try to sell you a house?” I ask, with a smile.
“She asked me, me, a person she barely knows, “do I have an issue?”
Despite myself, I laugh. An issue. Oh yes, we have issues. Just not the way Sreemoyee thinks.
“When I said I don’t, she went on a long lecture. Why don’t I have kids? Don’t we like kids? Don’t we
have plans? Do we have physical problems? If we do, she has a good clinic she can refer us to.
Imagine. If we don’t have kids, we will regret it later. Kids complete a marriage. And loads of other
bullshit.All this to someone she just met.”
“Maybe she figured she would get more selling a single-family than a townhome.” I point out
helpfully, “She is doing business development. In the true sense of the term.”
“We are not coming back”. She says, ignoring my attempt at levity, “I don’t care if he is a friend of
yours.”
“Whatever you say”, I say as I put the key into the ignition, “I was kind of enjoying myself.”
I lie. If only to take the marital high ground for the rest of the day.
Somewhere, and I know I am imagining this, Ma Durga smiles.

Arnab Ray is the author of 5 novels and runs the Greatbong blog and the Attention Pliss podcast.
His latest novel The Mahabharata Murders is being adapted for the screen by Hoichoi and will be
releasing in 2021.

Central Ohio Bengali Cultural Association