Page 67 - LCW LIFE | HAZİRAN 2020

4 While the mother takes care of the baby, it is necessary to give attention the older sibling as well.
4 Parents should show their love for the child with their behavior rather than words.
4 Excessive love for the baby should be avoided while the older sibling is around.
4 It should be ensured that the family members in the surrounding area show interest in both children instead of being only interested in the baby.
4 Since the baby makes a noise while sleeping, if you act harshly while the older sibling makes noises, s/he will be more jealous. Instead of harsh reaction and punishment, you should calmly warn the older sibling.
4 The child should not be tried to be kept away from the baby by being concerned that s/he may harm the baby. S/he should be warned if s/he presents harmful behavior; however, the warning should be given moderately.
4 It is absolutely necessary to avoid making comparisons between the siblings. Because each of them has different abilities and interests.
4 If the child is sleeping next to his/her parents before the pregnancy, it is wrong to let the child sleep in another room with the pregnancy. It is also not correct to take the child in the room of parents so that s/he doesn’t get jealous after the baby is born.
4 The older sibling may help to take care of the baby. The child can be rewarded with praiseworthy words after completing the task. Although such activities become habitual over time, they should not create
pressure on the child. Avoid saying; “You are the older sibling, play with your brother/ sister”, “You are the older one, eat your brother/sister, take off her/his clothes”, etc.
4 You should attach importance to the cooperation between the family. Individual responsibilities should be given based on children’s interests and abilities.
4 If the child is confronted with his/
her emotions, physically violent behavior may disappear. For example, if the child is older, you can help her/his by letting him/ her revealing his/her thoughts about the younger sibling. “You are angry with your younger sibling...”
4 You should let him/her know that s/he is not bad due to jealousy. Otherwise, the child woıld feel guilty.
4 Unless there is a serious physical intervention, the parents should avoid being involved in the conflict. In order to ensure equality and justice, attempting to advocate one side in your children’s discussions can increase the envy of the other.
As a result, the position of the older child before the new sibling of the family should be preserved with little change after the sibling arrives. An attitude based on the needs of every child is essential in the relationship
of siblings, and it is an important factor that this attitude is also noticed by the children.
For example, the needs and expectations
of a 5-year-old child and the interest and expectations of an 11-year-old child are not the same. Therefore, the relationships should be different as well as the solutions. Therefore, jealousy between siblings is observed in every family. The important thing is that jealousy doesn’t become a behavioral disorder.
WHAT TO DO AFTER BIRTH
Resources
n Çetin ÖZBEY | Çocuk Sorunlarına Yapıcı Çözümler
n Cavit BİNBAŞIOĞLU | Ailede ve Okulda Eğitim Sorunları n Adele FABER-Elaine MAZLISH | Siblings without Rivalry
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