Page 87 - 2006 DT 12 Issues

haul of all? U.S. Commissioner W. H. Prohibition, it replied he had been duly London. Cockneys use rhyming slang.
Hooper was overlooked in the hoopla. paid for services by profits from Liberty’s Try translating this one: A man says
He resigned from office and drove off to Last Stand and per diem expenses. If in- he had a quarrel with his struggle and
retirement in his new Ford sedan, honor deed agent Kane had promised him a job, strife and pushed her down the apples
in the backseat. it was without the Bureau’s authorization. and pears.
The person most stung in this sting Goodbye Mr. Kelly. It’s been fairly easy up to now, but
was the stinger himself. Robert Kelly. The two-story commercial buildings it gets more difficult.
Although Kane and Meyers promised to of the 1930s have been transformed The Scotsman includes quines and
keep in touch, Kelly never saw or heard into luminous skyscrapers in the 21 bairns in his family and possibly lives in
st
from them again. When he demanded the Century. But some things in Las Vegas a but an’ ben. On the front of his kilt he
promised agent’s job with the Bureau of never change. sports a sporran and has a skean d’hui
tucked down his socks. He also probably
eats his porridge off an ashet.
How are you all doing? Five out
Excuse me??? professional players entertaining crowds of ten? Only those with ten out of ten
in that way. should proceed beyond this point.
by H. Dan Wray Are the English romantic? Well A Yorkshire man—presumably an
ladies, don’t get too excited if an Eng- amateur poet—is describing an accident
he volunteers who man the Infor- lishman says he will give you a ring. He he had (You have five minutes to solve
mation Desk are quite accustomed merely means that he will telephone you, this one):
Tto coping with a variety of ac- but look out if he says he will call in. He “Ah’ve urt mi back, ah’ve bumped mi
cents and with the limited vocabulary means he will pay you a visit. ‘ead, ah’ve grazed mi flipping knee.
of visitors whose native language is Are the English suicidal? If he says Ah’ll et te be more careful when ah’m
not English. he was on The Strip walking along the laiking with a stee.
Surprisingly enough it is often pavement, the Englishman was in no Ah lig mi stee agin t’wall and clum
native English speakers, such as the danger. Pavement translates into side- reet up ter t’ top.
English and Australians, who present walk. Mind you, he might even then An then ah sluthered down. It weren’t
the greatest difficulty. After all, someone have been knocked down by a lorry half a drop . . . .” (etc)
once said that England and the United mounting the sidewalk. “Lorry?” Sorry, —Author unknown.
States were two countries divided by a understand “truck.” If it took you less than that, congratu-
common language. The English have some sort of fetish lations! You have just been appointed
We all know that Scotsmen wear about their cars. They dress them up. At Chief Translator for the Desk Volun-
kilts, but it may astound teers. Mind you, it’s purely honorary.
you to learn that English- There’s no brass in it.
men do not wear pants, Translations:
although they wear under- struggle and strife = wife.
pants. Instead of pants they apples and pears = stairs
wear trousers which they quines are girls and bairns are children.
hold up with braces. If they A but an’ ben is a small farm cottage.
hold them up with braces, A sporran is a money purse and a skean
what do they do with their d’hui is a (now) ceremonial dagger.
suspenders? They use those Ashet is a word imported from the
to hold their socks up. The French assiette, meaning a plate.
Australians wear strides The poem reads:
instead of pants. This led an “I’ve hurt my back, I’ve bumped my
eminent sports commenta- head, and I’ve grazed my [exple-
tor to make a gaffe heard by millions of least their cars have bonnets and boots, tive] knee.
radio listeners throughout Australia and whereas all self respecting American cars I shall have to be more careful when
I’m messing about with a ladder.
England. Describing the scene during a content themselves with hoods and trunks. I laid my ladder against the wall and
game of the national sport of cricket he So far so good; but how does the climbed right up to the top
said, “X goes up to the umpire, takes Desk Volunteer cope with Cockneys. and then I slipped down. It wasn’t
his sweater and strides off.” Streakers Cockneys are Londoners who were born half a drop.”
are not unknown at cricket matches, within the sounds of Bow Bells. Bow
but no examples have been recorded of Bells are the bells of a church in central Oh, and brass means money. 

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