Page 217 - Demo

%u00a9Jack Fritscher, Ph.D., All Rights ReservedHOW TO LEGALLY QUOTE FROM THIS BOOKWhat They Did to the Kid 205%u201cI promise.%u201d But more, I promised God, for I was not like other men. I would be the perfect young seminarian. I would go back to my German translation on summer nights at home. I would apply myself to apostolic work in my parents%u2019 home parish. I would keep a cool reserve of myself, but I would fire up all the warmth of Christ in my personality. I would work with the poor and help keep the parish records. I would work at the teenagers%u2019 center and teach catechism classes. Everyone would see the emerging young priest in me. They would all know the difference once I was there. They would find me warm and loving. Empathetic. Emptied of feeling. Solid in my vocation. They would look at me and see actually the essence of the priesthood. They would see an alter Christus, another Christ. I would disappear into Christ and Christ would appear and no one would even see me. It was perfect. I would live on Communion wafers and I would say Mass and people would ask me to pray for them and I would be handsome and gaunt from living on wafers and I would baptize and confirm and marry and bury them and I would be personal with Christ who would Himself protect me always.I promised, really vowed, to tell no one the intimacies of our seminary life.Rector Karg pulled from his sleeve a sheaf of typed pages. He held them up in front of my face. %u201cYou recognize these papers?%u201d%u201cYes, Rector.%u201d%u201cWhat are they?%u201d%u201cThe title pages of my new German translation.%u201d%u201cYou know what I want you to do with them.%u201d%u201cYou gave me permission.%u201d%u201cI%u2019m taking it away,%u201d he said, %u201cfor the good of your soul.%u201d%u201cI never know what you want.%u201d%u201cMaybe you should go home and never come back.%u201d My face blushed red enough almost to betray me.%u201cI prefer you speechless,%u201d he said. He looked deep into my eyes. %u201cYour renegade H%u00e4ring%u2019s work is under the most severe examination by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.%u201d He stretched out his arm until his hand, full of the pages of my translation, was near the Virgin%u2019s bank of candle flames. %u201cPromise me,%u201d he said.I promised hoping my promise would save my work.%u201cPromise me again.%u201d He moved the papers slowly into the candles. A flame licked up to a page. %u201cPromise me again.%u201d The pages browned and curled and flamed. He held fire in his hand. The pages burned and burst