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%u00a9Jack Fritscher, Ph.D., All Rights ReservedHOW TO LEGALLY QUOTE FROM THIS BOOKWhat They Did to the Kid 247%u201cMy father once told me,%u201d I said, %u201cthat anticipation is greater than the actual thing.%u201d%u201cThen your mother must be a lousy lay.%u201d%u201cHey, Lou Lou!%u201d I said. %u201cDon%u2019t call me %u2018Lou Lou.%u2019 I was kidding.%u201d%u201cDon%u2019t insult my mother.%u201d%u201cWe%u2019re all virgin saints, us mothers,%u201d Louisa said over the refrigerator door. %u201cI%u2019m going away for two weeks.%u201d%u201cBy yourself?%u201d She wouldn%u2019t travel with Joe.%u201cI%u2019m not telling where I%u2019m going.%u201d %u201cDon%u2019t put lettuce under my pineapple.%u201d%u201cDon%u2019t get smart,%u201d she said.%u201cWho%u2019s getting smart?%u201d %u201cMen. Males, whatever ages.%u201dGood. I warmed at her thinking me like all other men. I was changing.%u201cThey ought to do with men like they do with girls in China.%u201d %u201cWhat?%u201d%u201cTake %u2019em out and drown %u2019em.%u201d%u201cWhat a waste.%u201d%u201cDon%u2019t get smart or I%u2019ll give you your rent back.%u201d%u201cLouisa.%u201d I said her name strong as Joe. %u201cWhat%u2019s the matter? What do you really want?%u201d I tested only her honesty.She licked her thumb, glancing my question away from her privacy. %u201cA millionaire who%u2019ll give me two hundred a month and be gone all the time. No sex allowed. That%u2019s the perfect husband.%u201d %u201c%u2018Can%u2019t Buy Me Love%u2019 ain%u2019t your song. Put my pineapple on top of my cottage cheese.%u201d%u201cDon%u2019t be funny. I%u2019m miserable enough.%u201d%u201cYou know, if I%u2019d met you another time another place, we could have had a good laugh.%u201d%u201cNot me, dolly. I%u2019m nothing but a miserable b-i...do you want me to spell it?%u201d%u201cNo.%u201d%u201cThen quit trying to hear my Confession. You left the seminary. God! There%u2019s hot dogs for supper and Jewish rye I bought. Why don%u2019t you get a girl%u2014the poor thing%u2014but get a girl for godsake. Call Miss Ticket Booth.%u201d She stared at me. %u201cGet yourself loved...%u201d%u201cYeah, yeah, yeah. She loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah.%u201d%u201c...and get loved in return.%u201d%u201cLike you and Joe? That%u2019s the secret?%u201d