Page 174 - Rainbow County and Other Stories

162 Jack Fritscher

“I’m serious, goddam it. I haven’t had sex. Not really. Not
ever. Not unless you count the time I didn’t want to, and the time
I thought I had to, but I never count those two times and I never
talk about them.”
“Some experiences are too painful to recall,” Lloyd said, “but
I can’t recall any.”
“Shut the judas-priest up. I’m not dumb. I can do sex. I know
what goes on out there on those streets. I told you I’ve read and
forgot more stuff than you ever even thought of.” He held up the
picture of the blond athlete. “I know what he’s going to tell me,
but I want to hear it from his own lips, me lying in the dunes at
twilight feeling the warm breeze from the ocean.”
“This is summer in Northern California,” Lloyd said. “What
warm breeze? You’ll die of exposure.”
“He’ll tell me. And they’ll tell me.”
“Who?”
“The fellows down there in that intersection. One at a time.
And I’ll listen. One secret at a time. That’s how to make sense of
it. One after another of the men who know the secret ways. One
after the other. They’ll all whisper to me and when I’ve heard
them all, I’ll know all about life and damage and death and the
ways to stay out of hell.”
“Are you sure, really sure, that’s what he wants?”
“I don’t know what he wants. That’s why I’m taking his face
with me to the beach. So maybe he will talk to me first the way
the others will talk to me later.”
“Maybe you should forget him and them and figure out what
you want.”
“I just want one SOB and one SOS one right after the other.
I want some of the pleasure of all of the danger if I’m going to
suffer the damage anyway.”
“You’re talking crazy,” Lloyd said. “You’re going to fit right in
with all the fruits and flakes. You’re a nut.”
“No, I ain’t,” Robert Place said, “but so what if I am?” He
held up the picture like a holy icon. “Only he can tell me.”
“Sure,” Lloyd said, “you’ve got that pornographic picture.”
“It’s the Face of God!”

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