Page 12 - Toronto North Lifestyle March 2021

Have you ever worried about not “being the best” at school, sports, your job? Have there been times that you wish you could just magically appear as someone else because that someone seems so much better; more skilled, more experienced, more likeable, more knowledgeable, much stronger, and more together than you? Do you think about what others think?
Experiencing Imposter Syndrome ? You got this!
SHELLY ELSLIGER President, Linked-Express CKCO-Chief Kind Club Officer
If you said “yes” to any of these questions. You are not alone. In fact, having these thoughts are very common and somewhat normal. However, sometimes, these thoughts can take over and when that happens, ugly irrational fears can take over, and win over, common sense. We can easily attach our name to “incompetent” despite that our achievements, knowledge, and experience prove something entirely different.
Experiencing Imposter Syndrome can hold us back not only embracing our achievements, but it can also lower confidence, hold us back when opportunity knocks, create unrealistic expectations, and deter us from achieving our goals.
I know that I have experienced Imposter Syndrome many times in the past and continue to every once in awhile now. It is completely normal. But I know the signs and even better, I know what to do now and you can to.
Here are 10 ways that I have found effective in helping me to conquer my self-doubt:
1. Own your feelings: How you are feeling is completely normal. In fact, research suggests that 70% of people experience imposter syndrome on a regular basis. Ask others and I bet they will tell you, “I totally know how that feels”. Knowing you are not alone can help put irrational feelings to rest.
2. Keep a list of your accomplishments. When you do not feel like you have earned your spot, mark down everything you have done. Read the list often and know that all those accomplishments came from hard work and well-deserved.
3. Reprogram the negative thoughts. The way you think and project out into the world will make all the difference when it comes to building your confidence. You must start by being your biggest fan; championing all that you have accomplished and sharing that proudly with the people around you.
4. Keep in mind that failure is often a stumbling block to success. No one ever became a success over night. There will be times you will be tested, and these times are guaranteed to make you stronger in the end.
5. Hang around with the right people. Get out of the competitive mindset and think more around collaboration. There is always enough to go around for everyone. Start hanging around the people you aspire to be like. Build trust with those people and they will support you though your stumbles and falls and through your successes.
6. Visualize your why. Simon Sinek says it well, “The WHY is the purpose, cause or belief that drives every one of us.” When you focus on your “why” it will become the drive to move you forward.
7. Stop comparing yourself. Every single one of us is on our own path. Do not let comparison steal your joy or your dreams.
8. Reflect and meditate. It may sound simple but it a powerful activity to help calm feelings of anxiety and doubt. Juts taking as little as 3-5 minutes of silence, along with nice deep breaths, can help you to feel centered and grounded.
9. Do not give up. No matter what your goals is, keep at it. Remember that quick fixes tend not to work but grit and determination win every single time.
10. Be kind especially to yourself. Be your biggest supporter instead of your biggest critic. The way you see and treat yourself will impact they way others see and treat you. Create five (or more) positive affirmations about yourself and stick them up wherever you spend a lot of time. Read them and re-read them until they penetrate your subconscious mind.
Although Imposter Syndrome may not seem that easy to shake remember that you are here for a reason. You have earned all your successes and wins big and small. For some reason, many of us got the message that it was not a good idea to feel or act proud. Now it is time to change the script. When we embrace our accomplishments, we build a foundation grounded in confidence and then we are able to pay a very important message forward to those, who may be struggling, that says, “You are good enough!”
Page 12 TORONTO NORTH MARCH 2021