Page 62 - The Adventures of a Freshman

"See here, you old chump," said Lucky. "I believe you've got a notion--say, fellows, the Deacon's got a notion
that just because he owes some of us a couple of dollars or so we are in a hurry to be paid back. If he thinks
that, he's an old ass, isn't he, fellows?"

"Why, certainly," said Powelton.

"Thank you," said Young, curtly; "but as I said before, I intend to square up at commencement."

"Why, we can get along just as well till next fall," Lucky went on, although he had pawned some of his
clothes as well as his bicycle last week. "In fact, if you're worrying about it, why--well--they were gambling
debts, Will, and--- "

"Lucky," said Young, flushing, "that's no way to talk. I'm an honest man and"— then he stopped suddenly; he
was not an honest man, and this was the first time he had been called "Will" since he left home, and home was
what he hated most of all to think of in these days, and this was Lucky Lee, who never would have had
gambling debts, if it had not been for him, and whose kind mother he had promised--- Altogether he felt very
queer and wrought up, and for a wild moment he had a notion to tell them all about it, and make a clean breast
of it.

If he had done so they might have helped him out and sworn secrecy; but Young was not the sort that could do
it. "Please go away, fellows, and leave me alone. You're mighty good, but--you don't understand," he said.

They could see something was troubling him greatly. They did go away, and they did not understand, but they
felt very sorry. After that Todd, without telling the reason, left off studying hard and took to rambling in the
woods again.

"Aren't you going to try for the prize, then?" they asked him.

"I wouldn't stand any chance against Young," he answered. But the others were not so sure about that.

Meanwhile every hour brought final examinations sixty minutes nearer, and Young, all alone in his little
bake-oven of a room, was studying as probably no student had ever studied in that old room before.
Sometimes he felt that even his powerful constitution would not stand the strain much longer; but he could not
afford to break down or die until after commencement, until after disgrace had been averted from his family
name. It was that thought which kept his heavy eyelids open.

Examination week was like a long, hideous nightmare.

There were tasks that seemed superhuman to perform, and with them the sickening dread that he could not
perform them. When the last paper was finished and handed in he had a horrible conviction that he had lost
the prize. He felt sure of it.

But he could not be sure until commencement day itself, and before that came four days of preliminary
commencement gayety. Each one of these contained for Young twenty-four hours of suspense, and these were
worse than examination days--there was nothing to take his mind off what he did not want to think about. He
could not sleep. His nerves were used up; and everybody else was so happy!

The campus was bright with hundreds of attractive girls in summer costumes, and alive with rollicking old
graduates holding noisy reunions. But even at the baseball game, when the nine was beating Yale and
everyone else was crazy with exultant joy, Young was saying to himself: "How should I break the news to
mother? Should I let matters take their course, or--what are they all cheering for now? Oh, I see, Cap has
made another hit!"