Page 26 - Reflections on the Danger of a Single Story

Alice Holland cont...
Honestly, I was stung by the hidden single story that if someone goes to church, then it’s suddenly okay to say something kind of anti- Semitic to them. Still, I felt like the more salient issue was the problematic single story that all the Jews knew each other (which has not-the-best history and which, in a college of 14,000 with a Jewish community of nearly 4,000, was definitely not even true). So, my thinking went, should I explain to this girl why her comment wasn’t great?
If I do explain it, maybe I should keep quiet about the fact that my dad is Jewish. If she knows that, then she might think that my heritage is the only reason I’m bothered by what she said. I don’t want to reinforce the idea that offensive comments are only offensive if members of the targeted group are present. She waited until I mentioned church to say things about Jews, so if I make a “hey, as a half-Jew, I don’t like that” type of comment, she might just think her mistake was opening her mouth in front of the wrong person.
But maybe this is actually exactly the time to announce and own my Jewish side? My taking offense might at least come off as more authentic if I do that. And besides, while I’m not Jewish from a religious perspective, it is a part of me, and her comment triggered the fiercer, more defensive side of my connection to that. Shouldn’t I act on that feeling and, I don’t know, show solidarity with the Jewish community?
Or, like, maybe I was overreacting in the first place. Her comment wasn’t *that* bad. I definitely know actual Jews who would probably just laugh it off, and this girl just transferred to this school, so maybe she’s just insecure about making friends. Maybe *I’m* just insecure about being mixed, so I’m seeing offensiveness where there’s really no big deal.
So maybe I should just overlook it -- but is it really okay for me to do that? After all, if something were to snowball into a “real” anti- Semitic issue, I’d be sheltered by my Catholic-ness -- like when there was a plot to bomb a synagogue in my neighborhood a few years ago, that was not a bodily threat to me, since I don’t worship there. Maybe I don't quite have the right to judge a particular instance of Jewish single-storying as “insignificant.”
Would an experience like that count as someone having a single story about me? I’m not sure, because, again, single stories about Jewish people aren’t, according to most definitions, technically about me. One thing I am sure of, though, is that even talking about this kind of experience gives me anxiety because I’m scared of the single stories I might provoke in whoever reads this. Will I come off as over-sensitive, and reinforce the single story of Jews overreacting to every perceived slight? Will people hold tighter to the single story that mixed marriages are confusing for children, because I was focusing for a minute on the negative side? Of course, being white and having a name/appearance that doesn’t blatantly indicate a particular ethnicity, I could probably get away with ignoring my heritage in most situations, and mostly avoid being single-storied. However, even though it can make me uncomfortable, dealing with single stories is unfortunately just a part of living authentically for me and, I assume, most other people.
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ALICIA HOLLAND