Page 18 - The Final Exam Book - NO GRID 25:03:24

Penny
The journey to recovery from depression and anxiety is unique for each individual. Some "nd solace through therapy or counselling, others through medication, and a fortunate few manage to climb out of the abyss on their own. However, for many, the path to healing can seem insurmountably di$cult. I belong to this latter group, having grappled with what I refer to as D+A (depression and anxiety disorder) for over three years.
In today's world, there's a growing emphasis on mental health awareness, with social media often promoting acceptance and the eradication of stigma. We're encouraged to embrace our mental health struggles as part of our identity, which is crucial for seeking help. It took me a year to accept my D+A, which, in hindsight, only deepened my despair.
My battle began at 16, marked by unrelenting sadness, suicidal ideation, and frequent anxiety attacks. I was in denial about my condition, loath to seek help or even admit that I needed it. My coping mechanisms were unhealthy, and my personal life was in turmoil. The pressure of my 'O' Level exams forced me to bury my emotional struggles, setting the stage for further di$culties.
At 17, while in sixth form I continued to underestimate the severity of my mental health issues. I thought I could suppress my problems with work and study, but inevitably, I broke down. My coping strategies failed, and my condition worsened. It was only when my situation became dire that I "nally sought proper treatment.
My treatment plan included medications like Fluoxetine and Xanax, counselling, and therapy. However, my mental health deteriorated with each psychiatric visit, leading to increased medication doses and a worsening state of mind. I found myself in a vicious cycle of despair, emergency room visits, and missed school. The high dosages of medication provided only temporary relief, and the therapies didn't seem to "t my needs.
By 2018, desperate for improvement, I became increasingly frustrated with myself. I tried to power through, but a severe panic attack brought everything crashing down. I decided to give treatment one last chance, taking a 1.5- month break from school to focus on recovery. Initially angry and resentful, I eventually realised that D+A didn't have to de"ne me. I began setting personal goals and engaging in activities I loved, alongside continuing treatment.
I left College, abandoned certain commitments, and pursued studies and hobbies that brought me joy. While I still experience panic attacks and bouts of depression, my overall condition has signi"cantly improved. It's unclear whether the medications or my change in mindset led to this progress, but I've learned that treatments alone aren't enough; active engagement in the healing process is essential.
Mental illness should not be seen as an intrinsic part of one's identity; rather, it's an obstacle to becoming one's true self. If you haven't found a treatment that works for you, it's okay. Keep trying, avoid escapism, and understand that treatments require your e!ort to be e!ective. If a particular medication or therapy isn't helping, seek alternatives. Don't give up. With perseverance, you can "nd your way up the mountain to recovery.