Page 21 - McCourt & Trudden Funeral Guide Final
P. 21
Keep in touch - you may feel that the Understanding Grief
family needs their space and time to
grieve, but a simple phone call or note The death of a loved one, friend or family
after the funeral lets the family know member often puts us in touch with
you care. With social networking leaving our own thoughts and feelings about
a quick note is as simple as a click of a mortality. All of a sudden we realize how
mouse. The months following a death is quickly life can end. It is normal to feel
when grieving friends and family need out-of-control and overwhelmed. Realize
the most support. you are grieving.
The first step towards regaining a sense
Don’t: of control is to understand grief. Grief is a
Bring your cell phone - your phone physical, social, emotional, psychological
ringing will be highly inappropriate and and spiritual reaction to loss. It is natural,
will cause a disturbance, so turn any normal and necessary. It may cause a
ringers or notifications off. Even better, variety of reactions, including:
leave your phone at home or in your car,
a funeral is not the time to be texting or • Feeling tired and irritable. You may
checking your messages. experience insomnia or feel tired all
the time.
Allow your children to be a distraction - • Appetite changes. You may or may
from a very young age children are aware not feel hungry.
of death and if the funeral is for someone • Feelings of anxiousness. You may
that was close them (grandparent, aunt, feel worried and excited at the same
uncle) they should be given the option to time; like your heart is racing and
attend. However, if it is not appropriate you cannot “catch your breath”.
for your child to be there and if you feel • Feelings of emptiness. You may feel
they will cause a commotion, leave them hollow inside. It may be hard to
with a babysitter. concentrate or remember things.
• Feeling out-of-control. You may feel
Be afraid to remember the good times - helpless, angry or frightened.
funerals are obviously a time of grieving
and mourning, but remembering the All of these feelings are normal. Your
good times helps with the healing whole world has changed. You cannot
process. Sharing a funny and appropriate bring the person back or change the
story is acceptable, and, in some cases situation. It is natural to feel vulnerable.
exactly what the deceased would Through information, we gain a sense of
have wanted. understanding. Through understanding,
we gain a sense of control.
Overindulge - if food or drink is served,
do not over do it. Have a bite to eat Seek out information about grief, everyone
before you go to the service, you do not grieves differently. Our cultural and
want to be that guy parked at the snack religious experiences, the circumstances
table. If alcohol is served, limit yourself of the death and our relationship with
to one or two, do not become inebriated the person who died influence our
and risk doing something inappropriate. reactions to grief. If someone dies after
a long illness, there may be a momentary
sense of relief that the pain is over. If a
death is sudden and unexpected, shock
and a feeling of numbness may occur. If
a young person dies there is a sense that
McCourt and Trudden Funeral Home - Page 21
