Page 34 - Gary Rollins Funeral Home

Grief Resources for Survivors and Supporters
For Survivors
Be gentle with yourself. Don’t expect too much too soon. That includes having the perfect reaction or a fixed healing time. Just commit to working through things moment by moment.
Open yourself up to others. Try not to cut yourself off. Relationships are key and healing can be difficult to do alone.
Let people know if they’ve touched you in some way. Many times, when a loved one dies, we regret the things we were never able to share with him or her. While we can’t go back in time, we can take time out for the friends and loved ones who are still here. Thank them now while you have a chance.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.
Many times, we don’t want to bother others. However, they’re often willing yet unsure about how to help us, which may make our requests a welcome gift to them.
Show appreciation for the support and gifts you receive. People don’t always know if their gestures had the desired impact. Whether it’s a call or a note, when you have the energy to do so, consider letting them know what their actions meant to you.
Document your journey via journals, voice recordings, etc. The process of recording your thoughts can become a key part of your healing because it allows you time for expression and reflection.
Find helpful resources. Look for books, websites, counselors, blogs, support groups, etc. Our website (www.togreivetogether.com) will help you get started in this area.
Work on projects that honor your loved one’s memory. This allows you to put positive energy into something meaningful and lasting.
Protect your time and feelings as appropriate. Don’t feel like you have to make time for everyone or have to subject yourself to people and situations that will make you feel worse.
Allow yourself to experience a range of emotions. When you have moments of happiness, sadness, anxiety, stress, laughter, etc., know that it’s okay to feel and just let it out. In doing so, you avoid the build-up and eventual explosion that comes from holding in everything.
Find constructive ways to express you feelings. Whether it’s writing, talking to a friend, artwork, or another form of expression, look for ways to share what’s in your heart and mind.
Forgive people’s insensitivity. No one, including you, is perfect in their response to others. So, if others forget to be sensitive to your loss, go easy on them while appreciating those who actually remember.
Forgive people’s absence. Upon hearing of a loss and/or attending a funeral, people may make a lot of promises about being there for you. Unfortunately, life goes on and they can forget what they said. Know that if you have one or two people along with your faith to lift you up, that’s more than enough.
Forgive yourself. It’s easy to blame yourself for all the things you should have done or said to your loved one who has died. No one is perfect. As such, forgive yourself and work to let regrets go.
Pray continually for yourself and others.
Survivors, Supporters, and everyone in between can benefit from this selfless gesture.
Page 34 - Gary L. Rollins Funeral Home