Page 35 - Gary Rollins Funeral Home

For Supporters
When in doubt about what to say, just be there or tell them you care. A grieving person needs more than your silence. They need your connection.
Replace clichés with thoughtful words from your heart. Express yourself in calls, visits, handwritten notes, cards, and other meaningful gestures.
Don’t avoid the person because you don’t know what to say. Share any feelings of uncertainty and ask for their patience as you try to help.
Ask the person how they’re doing and mean it. Be willing to listen and provide support.
Understand that there are many ways to reach out (meals, visits, donations, memorial gifts, flowers, etc.). Think about what may be helpful and then do it.
Take initiative. Instead of making the Survivor contact you (i.e. call me if you need anything), go to them, suggest ideas, or just act on what you feel is right.
Don’t end your support right after the funeral. There will be many holidays and tough times when Survivors will need you. Invite them places, call or do other things to let them know you remember and care.
Be sensitive to the Survivor’s needs.
They may not be themselves during this period. Try exercising patience, love, and understanding as much as possible.
Don’t take things the Survivor says or does personally. Know that they are hurting and may lash out at those closest to them. Your empathy and forgiveness will help them to heal.
Don’t overextend yourself so much that you burn yourself out and can’t effectively help the Survivor. Only take on what you can manage, especially if you are grieving as well.
If you’re supporting a Survivor in a big way, make sure you have support also. Surround yourself with a few people (friends or professionals) who can be sounding boards, confidantes, and stress relievers.
Don’t create more work for the Survivor. They may have so much on their minds and so many tasks to accomplish. Don’t add to that by asking them to call you back or do other work.
If a Survivor reaches out to you, reach back. It probably took a lot of effort for them to ask for help. Whenever possible, find realistic ways to accommodate and/or support them.
Know that the role you play in helping a Survivor is a very special part of the healing process. It’s not about being a perfect friend or following some script. Instead, it’s about genuinely being a friend who tries and succeeds in helping.
Pray for the Survivor and for yourself. It can give you strength, direction, and peace.
Gary L. Rollins Funeral Home - Page 35