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What to say
Express your sympathy in your own words, however it feels right to you. Kind words about the loved one who has passed are always appropriate, a simple “I’m sorry for your loss” or “My thoughts and prayers are with you” can be meaningful and comforting for the bereaved.
What not to say
Do not ask the cause of death; if the family want to discuss it, let them bring it up. Avoid giving unsolicited advice or making comments that might unintentionally diminish the importance of the loss, such as “I’ve been through this before.”
How to act
After you have offered your condolences to the family, it’s perfectly appropriate to engage in quiet conversation with friends and other associates of the deceased. Your presence means a lot to the family. Be sure to add yourself to the guest register book, using your full name so that the family can identify you in the future.
Flowers and gifts
Sending flowers, making a donation or giving a memorial gift are all meaningful gestures. The simplest of tributes can be of a great comfort to the family and can express your sympathy when words are just not enough.
Turn off your cellphone
This one should go without saying. If you choose to bring your phone into the funeral home, take a moment to make sure you have turned it off or switch it to silent mode.
Procession Etiquette
Basics
A funeral procession is for times when the funeral ceremony and burial are in two different locations. If you aren’t sure about what to do, ask someone before you go.
Following a Funeral Procession
Here are some basic rules to follow if you are in a funeral procession
Turn on your lights. You need to make sure your headlights and hazard lights are on before you get on the road with the procession. This is one of the ways other people know you are part of the funeral.
Follow the lead funeral car
You may follow the procession through an intersection controlled by a stop sign or a red traffic control light without stopping. You must have your headlights and hazard lights on and may only proceed if you are following immediately behind the vehicle ahead in the procession and it is safe to do so.
Do not speed
Funeral processions typically move slowly, so if you are in one, maintain the speed of the group. Stay close. Don’t put more than a car length between your car and the one in front of you unless you are on a highway.
Stay in line
Do not try to take a shortcut to the gravesite. (if you arrive at the gravesite prior to the procession – you may unknowingly park in the way of the rest of the procession).
The funeral procession has the right of way at intersections, so continue to drive unless told to do otherwise.
Respect the family
The family of the deceased ride in a limousine, other official car or may ride in their own vehicle. Be aware. Do not expect to be included in the limousine unless asked. Allow the family cars to be at the front of the procession with the lead funeral car.
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