Page 72 - Biblical Backgrounds

Contrary to the practice of many other cultures, in which the bride’s father would pay the groom’s
family a dowry, in Jewish culture, the groom’s father paid a bride price, or mohar, to the bride’s family
to negotiate the betrothal and, in essence, “purchase” the bride. The groom would also give a gift to the
bride called a mattan, which became a part of the property the bride would bring into the marriage.
These gifts were not always monetary; they may have been property or even services provided to the
bride’s family. A good father was expected to share the mohar with his daughter or give it over to her
entirely (https://www.gotquestions.org/marriage-customs.html).

Jewish law required a man to divorce a wife who had been unfaithful. The man could divorce the
unfaithful wife publicly in a court of justice. The court would not only establish his innocence, but also,
he would get to keep his wife’s entire dowry. A man could also opt to divorce her privately without the
court’s involvement, but by doing so, the man forfeits the profit of her dowry.

New Testament Application
In considering Mary and Joseph, who were betrothed, but Mary was found to be pregnant. Consider
what is going on in the mind of Joseph, considering this information. Joseph was a righteous man and
not vindictive, so he planned to dissolve his marriage privately. Imagine the disappointment after
working almost a year building his bridal suite for Mary to discover she was with child. It appears that
she did NOT speak with Joseph about her encounter with the angel; she left her defense up to the Lord.
Both were people of great maturity and faith in how they handled the situation.

Mary traveled to see her relative, Elizabeth, shortly after learning that she was to be the mother of the
Messiah. She was pregnant when she arrived at Elizabeth’s home, as John the Baptist leaped in
Elizabeth’s womb in response to Mary’s presence. Elizabeth was in her sixth month of pregnancy when
she arrived, and most likely, Mary departed to return to Nazareth just before John was born. So Mary
would have been at least about 4 months pregnant when she arrived back in Nazareth, just about the
time when a pregnancy begins to become obvious. She may have been able to conceal her pregnancy
for another month or two, but it was not long before Joseph discovered that she was with child.

The same angel spoke with Joseph and explained Mary’s pregnancy. He immediately took her into his
new home and took her as his wedded wife to live with him. I’m certain that tongues wagged in the
little city of Nazareth as the gossips had a lot to talk about. They endured the shame to bring entrance
to the Messiah to save the world from sin!

Other Marriage Customs
It was a common custom for the bride to join the groom’s father’s household, rather than the groom
and the bride establishing their own household. So, if the bride and groom were of marriageable age,
the groom would return to his father’s house after the betrothal to prepare a bridal chamber. This
process traditionally took a year or more (the length of time being dictated by the groom’s father).
When the place was complete, the groom would return and fetch his bride. The bride would not know
the day or hour of her husband-to-be’s return, so the groom’s arrival was usually announced with a
trumpet call and a shout, so the bride had some forewarning.

Marriage ceremonies – After the period of betrothal was finished and all the agreements had been
reached, the wedding could take place. Weddings are typically extended over a period of five to seven
days. Autumn was the best time for marriage because the harvest was in, the vintage over, minds were
free, and hearts were at rest. It was a season when the evenings were cool, and it was comfortable to sit
up late at night. Usually, the entire village gathered for a wedding.

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