Page 32 - ARUBA TODAY

A32 FEATURE
Monday 14 May 2018
A surprising bullying battleground: Senior centers

By MATT SEDENSKY senior facilities.
AP National Writer Countouris' business began
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — with a focus on school bul-
The unwanted were turned lying but now centers ex-
away from cafeteria ta- clusively on seniors. In the
bles. Fistfights broke out at next month alone, she has
karaoke. Dances became more than a dozen training
breeding grounds for gos- sessions planned.
sip and cruelty. After four years immersed
It became clear this place in the wrath of older bul-
had a bullying problem on lies, Countouris has heard
its hands. What many found all manner of stories. At a
surprising was that the per- senior high-rise, a woman
petrators and victims alike who saw herself as the
were all senior citizens. queen of the parking ga-
Nursing homes, senior cen- rage would key the cars
ters and housing com- of those who crossed her.
plexes for the elderly have Elsewhere, laundry rooms
introduced programs, train- became vicious places
ing and policies aimed at where the bullied had
curbing spates of bullying, their detergent stolen and
an issue once thought the their clothes thrown on the
exclusive domain of the floor. Bingo rooms so often
young. In this Friday, April 13, 2018 photo, Patrick Arbore, left, talks to Corazon Leano as he conducts an devolved into battlefields
"There's the clique system anti-bullying class at the On Lok 30th Street Senior Center in San Francisco. — with lucky newcomers
just like everywhere else," badgered and accused of
said Betsy Gran, who until English and Spanish, teach- 1 in 5 seniors encounters There is far less recognition cheating by veteran play-
recently was assistant di- ing them to alert staff or in- bullying. She sees it as an of bullying as a problem ers — she came to call it
rector at San Francisco's tervene themselves if they outgrowth of frustrations among seniors compared "the devil's game."
30th Street Senior Center. witness bullying. Signs and characteristic in communal with young people. Even "I didn't realize it was an un-
"It's like 'Mean Girls,' but ev- even place mats around settings, as well a reflection among those who have derground society where
eryone is 80." the center now declare it a of issues unique to getting been called bullies, many people could be mean to
After the cafeteria exiles "Bully Free Zone." older. are unaware how prob- each other," Countouris
and karaoke brouhahas, "I think in the past I would Many elderly see their in- lematic their behavior is un- said.
the 30th Street Center have just stayed out of it," dependence and sense til it's labeled. Campaigns In the worst cases, bully-
teamed up with a local said Mary Murphy, 86, a of control disappear and, around the country have ing goes far beyond bingo
nonprofit, the Institute on retired real estate agent for some, becoming a bul- sought to spread the word, squabbles. Marsha Wetzel
Aging, to develop an who took the classes. "Now ly can feel like regaining including a booklet circu- moved into a senior apart-
anti-bullying program. All I might be inclined to help." some of that lost power. lated last year by the Na- ment complex in Niles, Il-
staff members received Robin Bonifas, a social work "It makes them feel very tional Center for Assisted linois, after her partner
18 hours of training that professor at Arizona State out of control," Bonifas said, Living. of 30 years died and her
included lessons on what University and author of "and the way they sort of "In the life cycle, it doesn't partner's family evicted her
constitutes bullying, causes the book "Bullying Among get on top of things and go away," said Katherine from the home the couple
of the problem and how Older Adults: How to Rec- make their name in this Arnold, a member of the shared. At Glen St. Andrew
to manage such conflicts. ognize and Address an Un- new world is intimidating, city Human Rights Commis- Living Community, she said
Seniors were then invited seen Epidemic," said exist- picking on people, gossip- sion in St. Louis Park, Min- she was met with relentless
to similar classes, held in ing studies suggest about ing." nesota, which created a bullying by residents mostly
public service announce- focused on her being a les-
ment on its community-ac- bian.
cess station that included One man hit Wetzel's
a portrayal of a man who scooter with his walker and
was excluded from a card unleashed a barrage of ho-
game and became the mophobic slurs. A woman
subject of gossip by other rammed her wheelchair
seniors. "There's really not a into Wetzel's table in the
lot of escape." dining room and knocked
Most senior bullying isn't it over, warning "homo-
physical but rather involves sexuals will burn in hell." In
name-calling, rumors and the mailroom, someone
exclusion, said Pamela knocked her in the head,
Countouris, a longtime and in an elevator, she was
schoolteacher who now spit on.
runs a Pittsburgh-based "I'd just go in my room and
consultancy that offers barricade my door and just
training on bullying. Wom- pray," said Wetzel, now 70
en constitute the bulk of and living at a senior com-
the bullies Countouris en- plex in Chicago. "I just felt
counters among seniors, a like a slug, like I was noth-
reflection of lifespan dispar- ing, like I wasn't even hu-
ities and the gender make- man."
In this Friday, April 13, 2018 photo, two women talk in front of anti-bullying signs at the On Lok 30th up of those who live at or "I felt like a person in a pool
Street Senior Center in San Francisco. participate in programs at of piranhas," she said.q