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business Wednesday 30 March 2022
Millennial Money: Please don't go broke attending weddings

By LAURA MCMULLEN of
NerdWallet
Sure, you want to feel joy
and love upon receiving a
wedding invitation. But one
little postcard or email can
also pack loads of pricey
pressure.
Perhaps you must secure
travel and lodging, buy
gifts and attire, or call off
work. Or maybe you have
the honor — and extra ex-
pense — of being in the
wedding party.
This may be your reality
soon, as wedding season
looms and events that were
postponed or rescheduled
because of COVID-19 re-
appear on the calendar.
Before stressing about
these upcoming weddings,
take comfort from Crystal
L. Bailey, director of The
Etiquette Institute of Wash-
ington, in D.C.: "Your loved
one would not want you to
spend in a way that would
make you financially strug-
gle."
For less struggling and more
celebrating, here's how to
handle the financial load
of attending weddings. A Mexican Mariachi band surrounded by heart-shaped balloons awaits the arrival of a couple's wedding proposal ceremony at
CHECK YOUR FINANCES — the Lake Hollywood Park in Los Angeles, on Valentine's Day, Monday, Feb. 14, 2022.
AND FEELINGS Associated Press
As you learn about upcom-
ing weddings, "map out "That can usually help you to politely pass on these sider sending a gift. betrothed and can't afford
your year," Bailey says. navigate what's important events if you give plenty of Bejar suggests seeing if you the wedding or a related
This planning is useful if in your decision making." heads-up. can participate in other obligation, like being in
you're invited to multiple For example, perhaps this — Gifts: Matt J. Goren , a ways. For example, if you the bridal party. "The worst
weddings, or bridal show- reflection shows that you Chicago-based certified can't make the destination thing you can do is have
ers, bachelor or bachelor- simply yearn to get out of financial planner , suggests wedding or shower, maybe the money fears override
ette parties and rehearsal the house and celebrate simply giving what you you can have champagne the friendship," Goren says.
dinners. If you're inclined to after so much quarantin- can, which will be easier delivered to the couple. So discuss your money
say yes to everything, this ing. So you prioritize attend- to determine after check- Remember: If you can't af- concern with the bride
mapping could show how ing the wedding and feel ing your finances. "If some- ford the event, "it doesn't or groom — soon, ideally
much time (and money) less pressure to buy a new one is going to think you're mean you're a bad friend months before the event.
"everything" will cost. outfit for it. a bad friend because you or a bad person," Goren "Good friends will under-
Also check your bank ac- FIND WAYS TO CUT COSTS only gave them what you says. If you wanted to go stand if you're honest and
count balance or budget Prioritizing your values may could afford, then they're but couldn't come up with transparent," Bejar says.
to understand what's avail- help you save money. So, if not that good of a friend," a relatively small amount Avoid complaining or mak-
able to spend after ac- being present at the wed- says Goren, who's the CFP of money — say, for a lo- ing the conversation about
counting for needs. Ideally, ding is most important, you program director at The cal event — aim to see you. Instead, ask what's
this financial reality check may be able to trim ex- American College of Finan- the situation as a "wake- most important to your
helps you prioritize expens- penses in these categories: cial Services. up call," he says. After all, loved one, then brainstorm
es, says Landis Bejar, a New — Lodging and travel: If CONSIDER DECLINING how would you handle an and possibly compromise.
York City-based licensed possible, choose a cheap- The most effective way to urgent expense, like an For example, maybe your
mental health counselor er accommodation than cut wedding costs? De- emergency room visit? friend most values your
and founder of AisleTalk, what the couple suggest- cline the invitation. That's Use this experience as mo- presence at the wedding
which provides therapy to ed, or crash with a local fine, particularly if you're tivation to build financial and is OK with you passing
individuals getting married. connection. Split costs with more of an acquaintance security, Goren says, so you on bridesmaid duty (and
For example, maybe you other guests by sharing a than a close friend or fam- can afford emergencies the hair, makeup and outfit
realize you can't swing the vacation rental or driving ily member, or if you don't and weddings alike. Track expenses that may come
out-of-state bachelorette together. Pay for fewer want to go. your money so you know with it).
party but can attend the nights by skipping the night- If you must pass up the where it goes, and explore Whether you find solutions
wedding. before dinner and arriving wedding of someone ways to spend less and or not, Bejar suggests ac-
If you still feel compelled to the day of the wedding. you're close with, Bailey make more. knowledging the impor-
overspend, "take inventory — Bachelor and bachelor- recommends calling or TALK WITH THE ENGAGED tance of this milestone.
of where that expectation ette parties, showers and writing a note. Thank them COUPLE "Brides and grooms want to
is coming from," Bejar says. other related events: It's OK for the invitation and con- Say you're close with the feel special," she says.q