Page 11 - aruba-today-20220607

A11
BUSINESS Tuesday 7 June 2022
Kimberly Palmer: Managing money starts with your emotions

you calm down and using
them before making a big
financial decision, like buy-
ing a house. She lists ideas
like going for a walk, read-
ing a book and playing an
instrument.
“We make decisions based
on emotion and rationalize
them after,” she says. “But
if we could deal with our
emotions first, then you can
go, ‘I’ve felt my feelings,
now I can be rational.’”
De Leon took this approach
when deciding whether
to take on significant stu-
dent loans. After setting the
stress aside, she made a
spreadsheet to crunch the
numbers and decided law
school wasn’t for her.
ADDRESS YOUR DEBT
De Leon says that carrying
debt, whether it’s credit
card debt or student loans,
often makes people feel
ashamed. She suggests
changing the story we tell
ourselves about debt by
writing a letter to it, an idea
she took from DearDebt.
com. “Express your feelings;
you’ll see that they are
Dollar bills are shown in New York, Oct. 24, 2016. Associated Press complex. Consider thank-
ing your debt for what it’s
By KIMBERLY PALMER her husband took more ing onto about money, one are common reactions. allowed you to do,” she
of NerdWallet time to discuss the pur- memory or fundamental “Maybe it’s reminding you writes. Once you process
Money can trigger strong chase. As a result, she says, idea that has been shap- of a past money mistake those feelings, it’s easier to
emotional reactions, which “we made the best deci- ing their lives about abun- you made. Let’s bring some tackle the debt itself. You
can lead to not-so-great sion we could.” dance or scarcity, and go awareness and under- might decide to apply the
decisions, like missing pay- CONSIDER YOUR OWN from there. How do you standing to it,” she says. debt snowball method,
ments or overspending. A MONEY STORY want to change that story CONDUCT A BODY CHECK- where you pay off the
new wave of books urges When Los Angeles-based now?” IN smallest debts first.
people to explore their author and producer Re- Changing that story could Giving yourself a body FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR
emotional connections to becca Walker started so- result in concrete shifts in check-in, as Tessler did PAST MISTAKES
money in order to make liciting stories for her essay spending. For example, at the car dealership, is Self-compassion is a pow-
better financial decisions. collection “Women Talk if you grew up watching something Tessler encour- erful tool, says Michael
“Eighty-five or 90% of our Money: Breaking the Ta- your parents overspend ages, especially when talk- G. Thomas Jr., an Athens,
money decisions are based boo,” she discovered that without saving, then you ing about money with a Georgia-based financial
on our emotions,” says Bari many people felt shame for might have to teach your- partner or making big pur- counselor and founder of
Tessler , a financial therapist having money, guilt over self how to save with a tool chases. Focus on physical Modom Solutions, a finan-
in Boulder, Colorado, and having more than their par- like the 50/30/20 budget. sensations, including your cial coaching platform.
author of “The Art of Money ents, and regret over earlier It suggests putting 50% of breathing, and observe “We are more likely to ex-
Workbook,” out this month. financial decisions. your take-home income to feelings or memories that tend grace and courtesy
“We need to be under- “So many women in my life needs, 30% to wants and are surfacing. to other people when they
standing of what our mon- were holding painful stories 20% to debt payments and If you notice you’re feeling make a mistake,” he says.
ey emotions are so we can about money — confus- savings. tense, for example, then Forgiving ourselves for past
not just feel overwhelmed ing, troubling experiences REFLECT ON RECENT MONEY you can take a break or go mistakes can help us move
or try to run away.” with money,” she says. “So EXPERIENCES, TOO outside before continuing. forward.
Tessler had that experience many of us were trying to In her book, Tessler encour- “Money emotions don’t go In her book, Walker writes
several years ago, when work all this out on our own, ages readers to think about away completely, but we about forgiving herself for
she felt herself hyperventi- and that was keeping us their last three money inter- can reduce them in size earlier choices to splurge
lating while at a car deal- from getting support.” actions. “When you were and intensity,” she says. on purchases instead of
ership with her husband. Walker encourages read- checking out at the gro- FIND YOUR OWN CALMING learning how to invest. “I
She excused herself to the ers to explore their own cery store or exchanging TECHNIQUES let go of the idea that I did
restroom, where she ques- money stories — those ex- money for goods or servic- In her book, “Finance for this terrible thing and ex-
tioned why she was feeling periences, often in child- es in some other way, what the People,” Los Angeles- tended compassion to my-
so anxious. Tessler realized hood, that influenced how emotions popped up?” she based financial educa- self, which was liberating,”
that she strongly dislikes they think about money. “I asks. tor and musician Paco de she says. “It allowed me to
making quick decisions want them to find at least Shame, anger, fear, guilt, Leon suggests creating a move forward in a healthier
about money. So she and one story that they’re hold- joy, sadness and happiness list of strategies that help way.”q