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I grew used to them. As a rule I went in " 'If you really are in need of money at the
unannounced, as though I were one of the moment, Pavel Konstantinovitch, my wife
family. and I beg you not to hesitate to borrow
" 'Who is there?' I would hear from a from us.'
faraway room, in the drawling voice that "And he would blush to his ears with
seemed to me so lovely. emotion. And it would happen that, after
whispering in the same way at the
" 'It is Pavel Konstantinovitch,' answered window, he would come up to me, with
the maid or the nurse. red ears, and say:
"Anna Alexyevna would come out to me " 'My wife and I earnestly beg you to
with an anxious face, and would ask every accept this present.'
time:
"And he would give me studs, a cigar-case,
" 'Why is it so long since you have been? or a lamp, and I would send them game,
Has anything happened?' butter, and flowers from the country. They
both, by the way, had considerable means
"Her eyes, the elegant refined hand she of their own. In early days I often
gave me, her indoor dress, the way she did borrowed money, and was not very
her hair, her voice, her step, always particular about it -- borrowed wherever I
produced the same impression on me of could -- but nothing in the world would
something new and extraordinary in my have induced me to borrow from the
life, and very important. We talked Luganovitchs. But why talk of it?
together for hours, were silent, thinking
each our own thoughts, or she played for "I was unhappy. At home, in the fields, in
hours to me on the piano. If there were no the barn, I thought of her; I tried to
one at home I stayed and waited, talked to understand the mystery of a beautiful,
the nurse, played with the child, or lay on intelligent young woman's marrying some
the sofa in the study and read; and when one so uninteresting, almost an old man
Anna Alexyevna came back I met her in (her husband was over forty), and having
the hall, took all her parcels from her, and children by him; to understand the
for some reason I carried those parcels mystery of this uninteresting, good,
every time with as much love, with as simple-hearted man, who argued with
much solemnity, as a boy. such wearisome good sense, at balls and
evening parties kept near the more solid
"There is a proverb that if a peasant people, looking listless and superfluous,
woman has no troubles she will buy a pig. with a submissive, uninterested
The Luganovitchs had no troubles, so they expression, as though he had been
made friends with me. If I did not come to brought there for sale, who yet believed in
the town I must be ill or something must his right to be happy, to have children by
have happened to me, and both of them her; and I kept trying to understand why
were extremely anxious. They were she had met him first and not me, and
worried that I, an educated man with a why such a terrible mistake in our lives
knowledge of languages, should, instead need have happened.
of devoting myself to science or literary
work, live in the country, rush round like "And when I went to the town I saw every
a squirrel in a rage, work hard with never time from her eyes that she was expecting
a penny to show for it. They fancied that I me, and she would confess to me herself
was unhappy, and that I only talked, that she had had a peculiar feeling all that
laughed, and ate to conceal my sufferings, day and had guessed that I should come.
and even at cheerful moments when I felt We talked a long time, and were silent, yet
happy I was aware of their searching eyes we did not confess our love to each other,
fixed upon me. They were particularly but timidly and jealously concealed it. We
touching when I really was depressed, were afraid of everything that might reveal
when I was being worried by some creditor our secret to ourselves. I loved her
or had not money enough to pay interest tenderly, deeply, but I reflected and kept
on the proper day. The two of them, asking myself what our love could lead to
husband and wife, would whisper together if we had not the strength to fight against
at the window; then he would come to me it. It seemed to be incredible that my
and say with a grave face: gentle, sad love could all at once coarsely
break up the even tenor of the life of her
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