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hammering away at you and feels like they might like to complain more, which then makes you complain about how they “won’t let it go” even after the apology. The moral of this story is that if you complain to your partner and your partner shows remorse and asks for forgiveness...shut up and forgive them and dedicate yourself to making it become less of an issue. The other moral is that if you screw up, don’t go into the history of the relationship to show your partner they aren’t perfect either. Stick to owning what has disappointed your partner and demonstrate that you are going to try to be more sensitive in the future.
Get Out of Circular Bad Habits
Understand that having the same argument over the same behavior is a warning sign. Partners might not always realize they are having the same argument over the same issue. For instance, this complaint:
“My partner will not stop checking their Instagram feed when we sit down for a meal and I feel like their phone is more important than me.”
That repetitive argument creates mistrust and the feeling that your partner is not listening that you are doing something that disappoints them over and over again. Ultimately the message becomes that you are not important enough to have your partner stop doing whatever you are doing.
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 119