Page 117 - SILFlip

resolved is one person complains, the other person also complains and the the conhlict escalates with undesirable consequences.
In love relationships, especially those where people are gearing up for failure, when one person complains:
“Can you just take your shoes off when you come in, pleaaaase. It tracks a lot of dirt into the house...”
The other person responds:
“Can you just realize that I work hard all day and if I forget to take my shoes off, try not to nag me before I take three steps into the house.”
You can see that the person walking into the home does not have much empathy for the person who just cleaned the hloors and when there is no empathy, the track an argument takes is the cross complaint.
You might also take the position that the person who just cleaned the hloors could have been more patient and understanding of the person who just tracked dirt in the home. If you take that position you are wrong but you can take it if you wish. I understand your point of view but I disagree with it — and that is one way conhlicts are resolved — by using the old “let’s agree to disagree” technique. When people engage in conhlict it is empathy that drives the conhlict back to a neutral position.
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