Page 34 - SILFlip

Chapter Three
Maintaining a Relationship by Managing Disappointment
Relationships do not grow in transformative ways unless both partners do the work of maintaining them. “Maintenance” requires attention and dedication to three essential tasks:
The essential tasks for people who are partnered in love are:
• Managing Disappointment • Re-Dedication
• Asking for Collaboration
If managing disappointment is hirst on my list, why am I starting with a task that sounds like relationships are always on the brink of failure? Managing disappointment? That sounds like such a negative view of relationships. It’s not what relationships are all about but if you and your partner don’t manage disappointment your relationship “baggage” will prevent you from getting to the part of your relationship that will make you happy in love. Managing disappointment is an active “hands on task.” Like all the intentions that go into building a relationship if you don’t address disappointment in real time because it is uncomfortable and somewhat difhicult — something that is sooooo much easier to avoid — your relationship is likely to fail.
Here is another horribly pessimistic way of saying this:
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 34