Page 14 - How Children Learn to Hate Their Parents

Contributing Factor Two: What Traumatic Events Children See or Hear
Children choose sides and reject a parent based on what they see and hear, not only by what they are told. A single act, piece of information or experience can lead to parental rejection. A parent and child can become estranged when children:
1. See an act of violence which can traumatize them.
2. Are told of an act of violence that they did not directly witness. 3. Overhear you talking about an act of violence.
4. See an act of infidelity.
5. Are told about infidelity.
6. Come into contact with emails, pictures, videos or social media posts which lead them to believe there was infidelity. This is so regardless of if it is shown to them by a malicious parent, or if they come into contact with it on their own, which happens often when children know more about information tools and devices than their parents do.
7. Witness an arrest or police intervention. This can go both ways. Children can reject the parent who is arrested assuming they are bad or a criminal. Children can reject the parent who called the police, resenting that you sent the other parent to jail and becoming frightened for them.
8. Become privvy to legal documents.
9. Children listen to friends and family saying negative things about one parent or the other.
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