Page 6 - How Children Learn to Hate Their Parents

None of those things happened. The father did a great job of being a caregiver. The mother only had infrequent phone contact with the daughter because she surmised that if the daugher "missed" her enough she would beg to come to her. The child resented the mother's lack of contact and felt abandoned. Three years went by.
The mother then wanted to come to New York to visit with the child. The father encouraged it, but the daughter refused, having felt slighted and rejected. The mother filed a petition to compel the daughter to visit with her.
At that time I was running an innovative type of facility. It was a re-unification program that operated like this: It was a home like any residence in the area. It was set up just like a home, living room, stocked fridge, a place to do homework. Parents and children would meet there and do all of the things they would "normally" do. No predisposed notions of talking therapy. No "feelings" talk. Just doing things that parents and kids do.
When the mother appeared before the judge to ask the judge to compel a visit with the now almost sixteen year old daughter, the judge said that he would like the mother and daughter to see me for a three hour visit before he made any decisions.
The child refused, the father demanded she see her mother and after capitulating to her father's demjand, they both arrived at my place at 1pm for a three hour visit...
6