Page 148 - The Intentional Parent

to avoid going to school whenever she can. What should I do?
It seems as though your daughter is the type that enjoys pleasing adults. Kids like this are very easy to motivate because all one has to do is acknowledge their performance. They respond to warmth. I have met many teachers like Mrs. Martin. Underneath all of that grumpiness, many are truly concerned about children, although they have a tough time showing it. It makes a person wonder why they chose teaching as a profession to begin with. Unfortunately, Mrs. Martin is not impressed by the fact that your daughter has a desire to earn her praise. That's too bad, because it really is so easy to give. Instead, Mrs. Martin would prefer to see her simply stay in her seat and do her work.
There are at least two ways to approach this situation. The first involves scheduling another appointment with Mrs. Martin. Don't you dread it already? As you prepare to meet her, please remember that you have already completed the third grade and that Mrs. Martin is not your teacher. That's not to say you shouldn't give her the respect she deserves (but you may make fun of her perfume or hair after you have left the building). Don't assume that you know more about teaching than she does, because unless you are an educator, you probably don't. Explain to Mrs. Martin that your daughter has been blissfully happy in school up until this point, and now you are finding it difficult to get her out of the house. Continue by saying that you can appreciate how many other students she has to tend to, and that her job is difficult, but you are naturally concerned about your daughter and how she feels about school. Gently suggest that Mrs. Martin consider making her a special helper or otherwise make her feel a bit more at home. At this point Mrs. Martin may actually begin to soften up, in which case she will probably do her best to raise your daughter's comfort level. There is also a
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 148