Page 196 - The Intentional Parent

behind a closed door.
HOMOSEXUALI T Y
Our twelve-year-old son recently went through a period where he was very depressed. One day, while his father was working, he began crying and confessed to me that he believed he was gay. I tried to comfort him because he was so distraught, but I must admit I was numb. Later that evening, when I spoke to my husband about it, my husband refused to acknowledge the possibility. He had a private chat with my son and concluded he was perfectly "normal." Is there anything more we should do? Your family needs some counseling. There is probably something to your child's belief about being gay, but even so, your husband would be right to say that your child is perfectly "normal." Homosexuality is not a mental illness, nor is it an indication that a person is abnormal in any way. Rather, it is a preference for intimacy with a member of the same gender. Many parents are shocked, disappointed, and hurt when they learn their children are homosexuals. While therapy will certainly help the family adjust to the information, it will probably not "make your son straight," as some parents mistakenly hope for. The only chance of that happening is if your son is so distraught about his homosexual feelings that he desires to pursue a heterosexual lifestyle in spite of his homosexual inclinations.
Adolescence is an extremely difficult time for teenagers who are conflicted about their sexuality. Please find a competent therapist who has experience in these matters.
KIDS AND ALCOHOL
My husband allows our kids to have a sip or two of his beer at
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 196