Page 207 - The Intentional Parent

water, so that he doesn't have another bad experience.
One key to getting him back into the water is taking it very slow. Before you even go back to the water, you and your child should spend some time with your eyes closed, just relaxing and thinking about the water in a positive way. When he's comfortable visualizing himself swimming (if he can't get to that point on his own, tell him to imagine that he has a pair of magic "water wings" that will keep him floating), then take him down to just look at the water. It is important to remember not to let him feel too anxious. After several times of going in just a little bit, you should suggest holding him in the water and helping him learn to float, and then get him back to the point of taking regular swimming lessons. The process will take a while, but you may be surprised that in the middle of it all, he might just decide to jump in and take up where he left off before he had the problem.
If his fears are uncontrollable, you might want to consider enlisting the help of a behavior modification specialist to get him back in the water. This specialist will probably use a slightly more structured program, but one that is very similar to the one I described. This is called systematic desensitization, and it works very well with many types of fears and phobias.
SEPARATION ANXIETY AND SCHOOL
On the first day of kindergarten my five-year-old son wouldn't leave my side. He kicked and howled all the way into the classroom. The teacher told me that once he got inside, he was fine, but the next day he was screaming again, twice as loud. If it gets any worse I might consider leaving him home. What should I do?
The best thing for you to do would be to keep bringing him to school, even if he is kicking and screaming. If the teacher is
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 207