Page 36 - The Intentional Parent

battle is once you get it under control a lot of other parenting challenges become easier as well.
Turning Intention to Action
Parenting intentions for setting and keeping limits are very important to practice. Every time you practice the intention of saying no and sticking to it, you fortify your resolve, you commit to a leadership stance, and you show your child that their technique of wearing you down is not as effective as your technique of being the decision maker in your family.
In the long run some aspects of parenting are simple numbers games. If you say “no” and stick to it, what you are also doing is not reinforcing your child’s arguing behavior. When your child argues with you and wins, he will argue again because you have shown him that arguing pays off. Whenever arguing works, even if it works one time, you are giving your child a coupon to argue and nag in the future. However, if you teach your child early on that arguing is a “dead end” there are much better odds that you will achieve the longer term objective of making “no” mean “no.”
When you are in your “intentional thinking” mode, reflect on the following:
• “When I do not give in to my child, I am teaching him to respect boundaries.”
• “When I stick to ‘no’ as my answer I am contributing to raising a child who will not be seen as obnoxious and inappropriate.”
• “I imagine my child whining and nagging to me and ignoring her because it will only give me more/worse problems later on.”
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 36