Page 34 - The Intentional Parent

done and it must be done because if you let your kids out argue you, out negotiate you and convince you to do something “just this once” (five hundred times in a row) you are not doing them any favors. You are merely teaching your kids that enough persistence applied to anything will pay off. I hear some of you asking, “Isn’t that a good thing? Shouldn’t I be teaching kids to be persistent?” Of course you should. However, persistence in pursuit of a goal that comes with appropriate work and effort is far different from annoying someone into submission. Not everyone will have as much patience for begging, whining, nagging and relentless asking as you will, and they will get annoyed at your child, develop unsavory impressions of your child, and also tell other people your child is annoying -- and that you are a bad parent.
Many children ultimately become smart enough to reserve the super obnoxious behavior only for their parents, but that doesn’t matter much, why should you be the recipient of such exclusive aggravation?
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter who your child is annoying, you or the whole world, the bottom line is that when you tell your child “stop,” “no,” “not this time,” “maybe some other time,” “stop it now” (as when you are trying to leave the house while they are playing video games), the child should respect that request. The reason for this is when you tell a child “you can’t...” you are teaching them to respect a boundary. There’s a lot of attention paid to helping kids understand “you can do anything you want to do if you put your mind to it,” and it is wise to teach children that hard work and effort can accomplish great things. However, it is just as important to teach kids to respect what is not theirs, respect the fact that other people’s priorities might be more important than theirs are, and
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 34