Page 33 - The Intentional Parent

Chapter Three
The Tau of No: When Kids Have No Choice
M ost of the hard work of parenting is dedicated to being more stubborn than your kids. In a battle of wills, nine times out of ten kids have the superior advantage. Why is
that?
First, they have more free time on their hands to nag, beg or protest. While you are trying to work, cook, shop, mow the lawn, break 90 on the links, survive, etc., they can afford to spend copious amounts of time campaigning for a new backpack, cell phone, pair or sneakers, permission to go somewhere you don’t want them to go and the like.
Second, and often overlooked in these kinds of discussions, we don’t like to argue with kids because by the time most of us reach the age of being parents we have been told not to argue with teachers, police, judges, our own parents and lots of other people, especially people who are close to us. Being argumentative is often considered an an unsavory personality characteristic and most of us (except for the genuinely argumentative among us) want to avoid it. To top it off, we often do not want to deprive our kids of something they want, or are afraid kids will stop loving us if we cut them short in an argument over whether they can purchase a $2500 laptop on the spur of the moment.
Cutting Short the Back Talk
Good leaders do not take “back talk,” and have enough clout behind their admonition to make their warning about cutting it out to stick. Okay, easier said than done with your kids but it should be
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 33