Page 31 - The Intentional Parent

“You should not have tripped your brother. Say something to him to apologize or go to your room. Your choice.”
Guideline Number Four: Give your child the choice of timing themselves out for a while or accepting a more severe consequence.
What this sounds like when talking to a child:
“ You can either go to your room and take a time out, or there will be no television or video games after dinner. Your choice. ”
Guideline Number Five: Always praise good choices.
What this sounds like when talking to a child:
“ Thank you for walking away from your sister when she pushed you. That was a great choice. Let’s think of something special for you for your good effort.” (Always try to praise effort over results because if a child tries to do the right thing and fails, at least you can praise the choice to try to do the right thing. Since good effort always almost leads to good performance, eventually, it is important to reward and acknowledge effort.)
Guideline Number Six: Discuss bad behavior as bad choices or decisions, but not endlessly or the conversation will have no real meaning when your child makes a really bad choice. Creating a link between behavior and choice helps your child develop a voice of reason. Ultimately you want your child to refelct on his or her own choice making as a way of developing good judgement.
What this sounds like when talking to a child:
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 31